DETROIT WHAT? ::: Military jokes and humor daily...
NOT MARCHING DRILL, ANYWAY
General Heath, a famous lover of parade music and marching drill ceremonies,
once listened to a symphonic orchestra playing.
When asked about his impressions, he commented:
"No military precision in drill..."
"Why?"
"Did you see those violin players? They were moving their bows not in cadence."...
SECURITY WISE
The counterintelligence officer reported to the COFS: "Sir, everything
is spy-proof. The room where the top secret conference will be held has been
thoroughly checked up by debugging experts using latest detectors."
But a detailed report on the hush-hush plans discussed appeared next morning
in a local newspaper. Its reporter comfortably used a common key hole in the
door of the conference room....
NO ORDER
A retired sergeant was asked: "Well, how do you like civilian life?"
"Terrible," he said gruffly, "all those people around and nobody
in charge!"...
Home
During an army basic training, the lieutenant took the batch on a match and
asked each of them where home was. After everyone had answered, he sneered and
said "you are all wrong, the army is now your home".
Back at the barracks, he read the evening duties, then asked the first sergeant
if he had anything to say "you bet I do" the sergeant replied, "men,
while you were gone today, I found beds improperly made, clothes not hanging
correctly, shoes not shined and footlockers a mess. Where do you think you are?
Home?...
Pilot joke
As a junior crew member Pan Am 727 Flight Engineer, I was listening to the
radio waiting for start clearance out of Munich, Germany. This was the conversation
I overheard (I don't recall call signs any longer):
Lufthansa: (In German) "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground: (In English) "If you want an answer you must speak English."
Luft: (In English) "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany.
Why must I speak English?"
Beautiful English Accent: (before ground could answer) "Because you lost
the bloody war!"...
Birthdays
There was this General-in-training, and his superioirs were asking him questions
"What happened on June 6, 1944?" "We stormed the beach at Normandy,
which later became known as D-Day, sir!" "What was the turining point
of wordl war 2?" "Battle of the bulge, sir!" "What's is
the importance of May 12" The Man thought and thought "I don't know,
sir!" The superior then said "Well, I'll tell your wife that you forgot
her birhtday"...
And now for something completly different
One day, while speeding in his car on munitions bridge at Langley AFB, Virginia,
a doctor was speed gunned by the Local Air Policeman and stopped for a big ticket
writing party. The young AP noticed that the man he stopped was a doctor, and
being curious, asked the doctor what he did at the base hospital, to pass the
time while he wrote the ticket. ...
A Short Summary of France's Military History
Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years
of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. ...
SIX PHASES OF THE MONTH IN NAVY RECRUITING
1. ENTHUSIASM ...
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