The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if
they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight.
They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which
ever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side
would have to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler females in the
world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected
only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings,
and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years
came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed
steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange
animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans
because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds
with the Russian dog. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out
of it's cage and slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog
snarled and leaped out of it's cage and charged the American dachshund.
But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened
it's mouth and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left
at all of the Russian dog. The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their
heads in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened.
We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and
Rottweiler females in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves.
"That's nothing", an American replied. "We had our best plastic
surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.