It was announced that the Clinton Administration, in its on-going efforts to
feminize all branches of the military, especially the the Marine Corps, suggested
that all male members of the military should take a look at their beer consumption,
considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female
hormones in beer. The Clinton sponsored theory is that drinking beer makes men
turn into women. To test the theory, 100 Marine enlisted men and senior officers
were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period. It was then observed
that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense,
became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued
over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.