Yeltsin calling Clinton with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory
has exploded!" the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite
form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their
power to help you," replied the President. "I do need your help,"
said Yeltsin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us
over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!" said Clinton. "Oh, and
one more small favor, please?"
"Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4"
diameter?"
"No problem," replied the President and, with that, Clinton hung up
and called the President of Trojan. "I need a favor, you've got to make
1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4"
wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "write 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM'
on each one."