The C.O had just welcomed the young army officer, shown him around the camp
and was outlining the recreational facilities.
"On Mondays we have a snooker tournament, a jolly good show with the winner
taking the jackpot."
"I'm afraid I don't play snooker sir," said the officer.
"Well, on Tuesdays we have a darts match," continued the C.O, "and
first to make 301 wins the drinks."
"I'm afraid I don't like gambling or playing darts, sir."
"Really?" said the C.O. "Well, on Wednesday nights a few girls
come up from the village for a dance and a bit of hanky panky and..."
"Sorry sir," said the officer. "I don't have time for women."
"Good God, man," said the C.O. "You're not gay are you?"
"Certainly not sir," said the officer.
"Oh dear," said the C.O., "then you are not going to like Thursday
and Friday nights much either."