IF AIRCRAFT WERE VIRUSES

F-4 VIRUS Outdated virus that was once very capable, but leaves an obvious trail and is therefore easily detected.

F-16 VIRUS Extremely small virus that's highly overrated. Seldom makes it all the way to your files. But if it somehow does, it usually can't do any real damage anyway.

F-15C VIRUS Makes lots of claims about what it can do, but usually shows up after you've already shutdown your computer. Sometimes destroys the wrong files.

F-15E VIRUS Most capable virus of all. Works quickly and accurately. Causes tremendous damage to targeted files. Can defend itself well against anti-viral programs.

F-18 VIRUS Another virus that seldom makes it all the way to your files. Spends 90 percent of its time just trying to get aboard.

F-111 VIRUS Extremely fast, deadly accurate virus that is slowly being replaced by less capable viruses.

F-117 VIRUS Works only at night. Targets very specific files stored towards the center of the hard drive. Can only be used once a night due to long boot-up time.

B-1 VIRUS Very expensive virus that is easily erased because it's so easy to find, and has no known defensive capabilities.

B-2 VIRUS Most expensive virus ever. Costs far more than the computer it infects. Hard to detect. Works only at night. Must have access to external modem to find targeted files.

C-130 VIRUS Most lethal virus of all because it can carry all types of additional viruses, anywhere, anytime. Shows up in more foreign versions than the flu bug. Can find its way into even the smallest of computers (on land or sea). Limited only by the amount of additional viruses it can carry and distance covered (overcomes this limitation by staging itself from an unlimited variety of other locations within systems). Quite benign after delivering other viruses because it settles down to a binge of eating and drinking.

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