those who use their superior judgment to avoid those
situations where they might have to use their superior skills.
Rule One: No matter what else happens, fly the airplane.
Forget all that stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity; an
airplane flies because of money.
It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up
there wishing you were down here.
An airplane will probably fly a little bit over gross but it sure
won't fly without fuel.
Think ahead of your airplane.
I'd rather be lucky than good.
The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep
the pilot cool.
Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a
sweat.
If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the
landing lights to see the landing area. If you don't like what
you see, turn 'em back off.
A check ride ought to be like a skirt...short enough to be
interesting, but still be long enough to cover everything.
Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever
collided with the sky. Always remember you fly an airplane with
your head, not your hands.
Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to
five minutes earlier. Don't drop the aircraft in order to fly the
microphone. An airplane flies because of a principle discovered
by Bernoulli, not Marconi. Cessna pilots are always found in the
wreckage with their hand around the microphone.
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull
the stick back they get smaller.
Hovering is for pilots who love to fly, but have no place to go.
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man.... Landing is
the first!
Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one
from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of
a 'great landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane
another time.
The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.
IFR: I Follow Roads.
You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full
power to taxi.
I had a fighter pilot's breakfast - two aspirin, a cup of coffee
and a puke.
Those who hoot with the owls by night should not fly with the
eagles by day.
A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your
sister.
A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and
round and reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them
trying to become random in motion.
Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the
earth immediately repels them.
Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down?
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make all of them yourself.
Pilots believe in clean living. They never drink whiskey from a
dirty glass.
Things that do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you.
Runway behind you. Fuel in the truck. A navigator. Half a second
ago. Approach plates in the car. The airspeed you don't have.
If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.
What's the difference between God and pilots? God doesn't think
he's a pilot.
Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a
boy, but not for one who still is.
There are four ways to fly:the right way, the wrong way, the
company way and the captain's way. Only one counts.
A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a
cadaver.
Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a
fireplug what it thinks about dogs.
Trust your captain .... but keep your seat belt securely
fastened.
An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise
him.
Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the
Brooklyn Bridge.If he relies on winds-aloft reports, he can be
sold Niagara Falls.
The friendliest stewardesses are those on the trip home.
Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad
judgment.
Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on
all those trips.
Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.
The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.
Why did God invent women when airplanes were so much fun?
Remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous?
It's always cheaper to rent than to buy. Renting airplanes is
like renting sex: It's difficult to arrange on short notice on
Saturday, the fun things always cost more, and someone's always
looking at their watch.
There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing:
unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.
Passengers prefer old captains and young stewardesses.
The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is
a copilot who once was a captain.
Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your
next airline.
Any pilot who does not privately consider himself the best in the
game is in the wrong game.
It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as
possible.
If God had intended man to fly he would have given him enough
money for a Bonanza.
If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that
caused an accident, the NTSB would find a way to blame it on
pilot error.
Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.
A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the
outside. It's worse.
Son, I was flying airplanes for a living when you were still in
liquid form.
"Let's make a 360 and get the hell out of here!?!"
It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a
large fortune.
A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's
flying and about flying when he's with a woman.
A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can
handle.
A thunderstorm is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."
Learning a little about flying is like leading a tiger by the
tail - the end does not justify his means.
The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after
making a gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in
the 'down' position.
Remember, you're always a student in an airplane. Keep looking
around; there's always something you've missed.
Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of
your takeoffs.
Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.
You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the
back.