1. You thought CDC's stood for "Complete in a Decade Course".
2. You think of the Government American Express as an early out program.
3. Your flight chief issues you a signature stamp for your upcoming Article
15(s).
4. Your commander's door mat has your name sewn under welcome.
5. Your reason for showing up late was that Mickey Mouse's hands looked about
the same length.
6. You usually check your mail at the First Sergeant's office.
7. You affectionately refer to your BDUs as pajamas.
8. The words VOLUME ONE are written on your UIF at MPF.
9. Your reporting official calls the legal office on base for help in writing
your EPR.
10. The people at your retirement rehearsal simply wave good-bye.
11. You think under 21 alcohol prohibition is a drinking game.
12. You get taken off the Weight Management Program because you have a waiver
from the Hostess cupcake factory.
13. You think the Re-call roster is more difficult that the periodic table of
elements in chemistry.
14. You search the back cover of the PFE for the DWI ribbon.
15. You haven't heard any rumors lately.
16. The SP's have a code name for your dorm room.
17. Your case file is used Air Force wide to train First Sergeants and Commanders.
18. The Legal Office uses you as a benchmark for discharge actions.
19. You know more about completing Art 15 paperwork than your First Sergeant.
20. BMTS has considered using you as a guest speaker to scare recruits straight.
21. When other people on Base get in trouble, they compare their case to yours
to receive lighter punishment.
22. You have reserved parking at the Correction Custody facility.
23. You carry extra "certified true" finger print copies to speed-up
processing.
24. You call your First Sergeant late at night so much that you can carry on
a conversation with his wife or kids until he's available to come to the phone.
25. Jerry Springer won't have your type on his show.
26. You consider new Commanders as a short term problem.
27. You've been promoted 6 times and your still an A1C.
28. Your stripes are velcroed on - saves time and eliminates that nasty halo
effect.
29. You've been the squadron's lowest ranking airman on 4 separate occasions
during the past three years thanks to the those five day weekends you started
taking.
30. If you've been good for the whole month your supervisor and First Sergeant
get a three day pass.
31. You're happy the Air Force came out with the new Nations Bank Visa Card
you had reached your credit limit on your American Express.
32. Air Force Aid won't return your calls.
33. Security police named a drug dog after you.
34. The Correction Custody staff bought you a Christmas gift to ensure you'd
get a gift this year.
35. Your goal is to one day attend the prestigious Airman Leadership School
provided you stay in the service that long.
36. You're hoping to get a basic Good Conduct Medal as a going away gag gift.
37. You're concerned that excessive white space on your referral EPR might hurt
your promotion opportunity.
38. You don't know jack about your primary AFSC but have gotten pretty good
about MPF special actions case work that you've considered cross-training.
39. Your unit tried to trade you for a BBQ grill until the legal office got
involved.
40. You've help eliminate a bunch of the legal loopholes involving DWI cases.
41. SP's had to get a legal finding to see if they could charge you with being
stupid.
42. Your last random urine sample led to several lurid charges being filed against
you.
43. Your hometown celebrates the day you enlisted.
44. You consider your UIF as a resume writing source.