Why Military Force Is Sometimes Needed. Here's what you can do when you happen upon one of those stupid, naive, idiots that just can't seem to understand why force is sometimes needed: ...
An American Holiday Osama bin Ladeen, severely injured in an American attack, is in a US Army medical facility, when he asks the attending doctor, "Doc, when will I die?"...
FREE 3 Days and 2 Nights Trip! Congratulations !!!!!...
Late Night Jokes "People are wondering what will happen to Afghanistan when we're finished fighting there. I'm sure there are plans to rebuild the country, and a lot of times with rebuilding comes a name change. These are some possible name changes the government has been mulling over: Halfghanistan, Pothole-istan, Jenniferanistan, Assbackwardstan, Bye-bye-Talibanstan, Ass-Kicked-istan." —Jay Leno...
Veteran's Bar Four retired veterans are walking down the street. When they see a sign that says "Veterans Bar," they go in. The bartender asks what they will have and they all ask for a martini. ...
Dictionary Definition of hooah hooah (hoo ah) adj., adv., n., v., conj., interj., excla. [Orig. unknown] Slang. ...
New Laws Resulting from the Sept. 11 Tragedy 1. To buy an American flag, you must present proof you have voted at least once in the last three elections (yes, local and state elections count)....
Some Ways For Old Salts to Simulate Being in the Navy 1. Lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of communication should be with letters that your neighbours have held for at least three weeks, discarding two of five. ...
Stealth Two drunk fighter pilots are flying in formation.
Leader to W1: "Can you see me?"
W1 to Leader: "No.""Can you see ME?"
Leader to W1: "No."
W1 to Leader: "Cool, now we are stealth fighters." ...
Go to the end of the line An army sergeant told Private Perkins to go to the end of the line. He did, but then returned. ...
What is the braver force A marine drill sergeant fancied a round of golf one day, and headed out to his favourite links. Waiting on the first tee, he noticed an air force commander, also waiting on the first tee and also alone. Both being in the armed forces, they decided to play together. ...
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE INFANTRY, THE ARTILLERY AND THE ARMOURED HAPPINESS IS . . .
Infantry: A good rifle
Armoured: A big tank
Artillery: A loud boom...
Bedtime in The QuarterMaster's House Hood, Riding, Red, Little Once upon a time there was a female personnel whose nomenclature was Hood, Riding, Red, Little (one each). She was a girl, little, happy. Her duty uniform consisted of the following named items: (1) Dress, red, cotton, shade 76, (one (1) each); (2) Cape, HBT, red w/hood, (one (1) each). Her MOS was 94B4S, food handler....
Call the bomb disposal squad A World War II veteran came into a London clinic with a haemorrhoid problem. One painful pile would often hang down from the man's anus and he was in the habit of pushing it back up with an artillery shell. ...
The Perfect Shot A Sniper laid on the mound testing and adjusting his aim for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his observer nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Take the damn shot!"
The Sniper answers, "My Sergeant Major is up there watching me from the Barracks. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man! You don't stand a chance of hitting him from here!" ...
The difference between zipperheads and grunts One rainy night in Bergen Hohne an M113 was parked beside a Leopard and the commanders were chatting. The tank commander said to the infanteer "My good sir, I am a crew commander, you, are a bus conductor." ...
The budget strikes again ::: Military humor & jokes...
HOW TO SIMULATE CANADIAN ARMY LIFE Want to be a soldier, but really don't want to commit precious years of your life? Here are some easy ways to simulate exactly what it's like to be a Canadian soldier! ...
Naming the Suspects The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Army, regarding the theft of some mascots from Navy by Army rivals:
"We knew Armoured were involved because they cut through two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away there was an unlocked gate." ...
Raining 1917, England, a lone pommie sentry walking his post in the rain, hears troops approaching "Halt, who goes there?"
The answer comes back out of the rain "the Guards".
"Pass the guards".
30 minutes later another body of troops comes along, "Halt, who goes there" calls the sentry.
"The Buffs".
"Pass the buffs".
15 minutes later a mob of troops staggers out of the dark, "Halt who goes there".
"NONE OF YER GODDAMN BUSINESS".
"Pass Canadians". ...
Australian military joke Warrant Officer An Infantry WO2 was posted to England on Ex Long Look. While in the Old Ilse he attended a Junior Officer Promotion Course, on actual battlefields in France. ...
THE ARMY -- THEN AND NOW Then- Rifles were made of wood and steel, shot a 7.62 caliber bullet that killed the enemy.
Now- Rifles are made of plastic and aluminum, shoot a .22 caliber bullet that wounds the enemy. ...
The Last Salute The GI had been killed in combat. His body was brought back and delivered to his small town home in South Carolina. At the cemetery, a large gathering came together to honor the lad, with family, friends and sympathetic acquaintances. It was a sad occasion. ...
General Custer General Custer and an Indian scout are on top of a hill overlooking Bull Run when they start to hear drums in the distance. ...
A3 - Advanced Army Acronyms Here are some real acronyms in current use by the U. S. Army:
ACE - ASAS Collateral Enclave
- Armored Combat Earthmover
- Allied Command Europe
- Analysis and Control Element
- Aviation Combat Element
- Assistant Chief of Engineers
- Analysis and Control Element ...
You Might be a Deranged Militant Fundamentalist if... You would like to outlaw air, as a medium for the transmission of blasphemy. ...
During WWII there were a lot of American GI's in England. Here are two sayings the English girls created about American GI's. The English as they said about the Yanks - The Yanks are overpaid, overfed, over-sexed and over here? ...
MOST EVERYTHING I LEARNED ABOUT LIFE, I LEARNED IN THE INFANTRY Any fool can be uncomfortable. ...
Military Prayer One day a Colonel, a Lieutenant and a Warrant Officer were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large, raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so. ...
Russian Military Joke - A lunch. A lieutenant, fresh from a military academy, reports for duty to his commanding officer. The CO invites him to have a drink. He pours two glasses of vodka, drinks his vodka and takes a bite on a cucumber. The lieutenant drinks without eating. The CO refills the glasses, drinks his vodka and takes another bite of a cucumber. The lieutenant winces and drinks his glass without eating anything....

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