A bus driver is conducting a tour of famous Civil War battle sites. "Here,"
he points out at one spot, "is where the Southern troops routed a whole
regiment of Yankees. Over there, the Rebs wiped out a whole platoon of Yanks.
Down about a mile, there's another valley where we captured a thousand Union
soldiers."
A tourist says, "Didn't the North ever win a battle?"
"Yes ma'am. But not while I'm driving this bus."