Two GIs Two GIs were driving through Texas and going a little fast when the local County Mounty appeared behind them with his lights flashing. After stopping their Duece and a half on the shoulder the Sheriff climbed on the running board and asked for their papers. When he finished he told them that it didn't matter if they were in the Army they would Obey the local laws and then struck the driver with his night stick right between the eyes. He procede to walk to the passenger side and mounted the Running Board and struck the Passenger between the eyes also. When the GI asked why. The County Sherriff answered that he was just making his wish come true. ??? He continued, Just about 1/2 a mile doen the road you are going to be wishing that, "that asshole had done that to you." ...
Ski trip ::: Military jokes and humor daily...
West Point Joke After a long wait, two Army graduates finally get jobs at a sawmill. It was their first day on the job. Suddenly one screams, "OUCH!!! I lost my finger!"...
Canoe There was a Navy Seal and an Army Ranger and a Marine. They we're on a recon mission and the Navy Seal gave away they're position and were all captured by a cannibalistic tribe. The chief of the tribe came to them and said I will let you decide how you will leave this world but know this I will use your skin to make my canoe....
Staff Sergent The Staff Sergent was mad one day and went home and told his wife to put on his BDU's....
The Old Veteran A middle-aged woman decides to have a face-lift for her birthday.
She spends $8000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," was the reply.
"I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl,
"How old do you think I am?"
"I guess about 29."
The woman replies,"Nope, I'm 47." ...
Never Ask a Gunny!!! A young Marine officer was in a serious car accident, but the only visible permanent injury was to both of his ears, which were amputated....
True Story While in the Navy and attending Radio School in San Diego in 1960, everyone was required to stand a Base Commander's inspection. All hands were on deck on the huge "grinder"standing at parade rest until the Inspection Party arrive at units--one by one--who would smartly snap to attention and then suffer the absurd questioning of the "boot" Ensign who took great pleasure in harassing the troops in this manner! I am sure that every man felt like I did - He was the idiot!...
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you're turned on by a woman who can change a Hummer tire. ...
Party A retiring Lt Colonel in Lake Charles, LA decided he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his Army buddies and neighbors. ...
Sgt Homer Sgt Homer, a handsome dude, walks into the NCO Club and sits down next to this blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was on....
Marine combat veteran This is how I heard it:...
West Point Joke Two football players were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy. Soon after the test began the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, "Old MacDonald had a what?" ...
Two Italian Officers Two Italian Officers taking Jump School at Ft Benning,GA. The two got on a city bus; sat down and engage in a animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignored them at first, but her attention was galvanized when she heard one of the men say the following:...
God's Messenger... The Veteran A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there was no God. ...
Choice A Marine Corps gunnery sergeant got on a flight to Minneapolis. The only seat available was next to a Navy Chaplain. He sat and the stewardess akse for his drink order. He got a whiskey with a beer chaser, which the stewardess put on his tray. She then asked the Chaplain if he'd like a drink. He responded, "I'd sooner be seduced by a wanton hussy, than let liquor touch my lips." ...
The Genie After several weeks at sea, a Naval vessel finally moors for some long overdue liberty and as is customary, every sailor aboard hit shore like starving lions with a pocket full of pay. After a week of liberty, a Third Class Petty Officer (PO3-E4) returns to base with his last few dollars and decides to stop at the enlisted mans club for one last beer before returning to the ship broke. ...
Kool Aid In Vietnam, powdered Kool Aid was used to mask the taste of the disinfection tablets used in our canteens. Opening a packet of grape Kool Aid, I found it to be empty....
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you put your combat boots on you only get them on the right feet 50% of the time. ...
True Story While stationed at George AFB. Myself and a group of friends were walking to the BX. As we approached we noticed a young LT. approaching with a group of his friends. So we offered the customary salute....
West Point Joke What do Army grads and tornadoes have in common?...
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you don't know what a redneck is. ...

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