ALF joins the Marines and after training is sent to Afghanistan.
Because of his special nature and keen nose, he is put into a LRRP Unit scouring
mountain caves for Al Qaida and Taliban fighters after a successful onslaught
of U.S. bombing raids.
Shortly there after the mountains are finally declared secure and safe.
General Tommy Franks himself visits Afghanistan and meets with ALF’s Marine
LRRP Unit and gives them a special unit citation.
General Franks asks why aren’t there any prisoners?
Everyone is silent, except a loud Burrrrp is heard from the rear.
ALF steps forward and excuses himself.
The General says, “That’s quite alright Marine, I understand you
are key in finding the caves the enemy hid out in, is that correct?”
ALF says, “Yes Sir!”
Well the general asks, “Maybe you can explain why there are no prisoners.”
The Gunny Sgt. in charge steps forward and asks if he can explain.
General Franks says, “Go ahead Gunny.”
Gunny replies by saying, “Well General, you see ALF is an alien.”
General Franks says, “You mean he is from Mexico?”
“No sir” says the Gunny.
Well explain yourself Sgt. demands the General.
The Gunny says, “ALF means Alien Life Form, so general, you see ALF is
from another planet here to help rid the world of terrorist.”
“That’s very commendable, but what does that have to do with NO
f**king prisoners?” the general asks.
“Well General Franks, ALF’s favorite food is cats. The Taliban and
Al Qaida never bathe and they wear those long beards, so to ALF they smell like
cats back on his home planet.” The Gunny explains.
The general says, “You mean …..”
The Gunny replies, “That’s right General, ALF ate them all.”
General Franks smiles and says, “Give this f**king Marine a medal.”