The boat was having a swim call and this seaman climbed out of the water and asked the XO why one of his shipmates was carrying a rifle. The XO replied "to shoot you just in case the sharks gets you". Needless to say, the seaman never got back in the water.
A new on board E1 striker was told to clean the CO and XO's head. When asked if he did the task he replied, " Well, I cleaned the CO's head but the XO's head was spotless."
During an ORSE, the ORSE Team member wanted to know who was who in the Engineering
spaces. He went up to the Reactor Operator and asked him " What is 2 +
2?". The Reactor operator pulled out his calculator, punched in 2 + 2,
and answered "4". The ORSE Team member said "Yep, you're a Reactor
Operator.".
Next he asked the Electrical Operator. "What is 2+2?". The Electrical
Operator started whining on why he got asked all the questions, but finally
answered "4". The ORSE Team member said "Yep, you're an Electrical
Operator."
Next he asked the Machinist. "What is 2+2?". The MM started thinking
and counting on his fingers, but still could'nt figure it out. Finally he said
"3". The ORSE Team member said "Yep, you're a Machinist Mate."
Now the ORSE Team member wanted to ask an ELT. He finally found one coming out
of nucleonics. He asked the ELT. "What is 2+2?". The ELT looked all
around and then back at the ORSE Team member and said "What do you want
it to be?".