Military Technology
You know your Advanced Warfighting Experiment unit is too technologically advanced when...

Every vehicle has "Intel Inside" stenciled on the side.
The service is renamed "US Army99."
Tanks play a little tune when you start them up.
The platoon medic carries Norton Antivirus in his first-aid kit.
Your gunsights have a Win95 startup screen.
Every night Marine Corps boot camp recruits shout, "Good night, Bill Gates, wherever you are!"
Bayonets have a laser range finder and barometric pressure gauge.
Military funerals feature the "21 beep salute" and the "missing file formation."
Unit guidons are replaced with black-and-white bar codes.
Crashing a vehicle takes on a whole new meaning.
Maintenance companies of forward support battalions are replaced by 1-800 service numbers.
Every platoon's TO&E includes "Sun Certified Java programmer - 1 each."
Rifles come with a boot disk.
Soldiers are heard to ask, "How many MEGs you got in your rucksack?"
Night vision goggles have a screen saver.
After lasing the target, your attack helicopter asks, "Do you really want to delete this target?"
Hand grenades require you to put in a password before throwing them.
SINCGARS is the most user-friendly piece of equipment you have.


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