The Monkeys:

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a platoon sergeant walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a PFC monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $1000." The platoon sergeant paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can fire expert with small arms, score 300 on the APFT,and perform Drill & Ceremony and Small Unit Tactics with no mistakes, well worth the money."

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's an NCO monkey; it can instruct BRM, CTT, PT, D&C and SUT, and even do some paperwork. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a Warrant Officer."

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