WHOM ARE WARS FOUGHT BY?

Some time after the war, several men in a bar room were talking about wars and their battle deeds. The talk turned on a specific battle. An ex-lieutenant, telling his portion of it, was interrupted by a former captain who corrected him on several points. He, in turn, was contradicted by a man who claimed to be a major and told a different story. Presently, a fourth man spoke up with quite another version of the operations. He was a colonel, he declared. Then a fifth man stepped in: "I was in that fight. It was like this."

"What was your rank, sir?" asked the bartender when the last man finished his account.

"I was a private."

"Well, you are the very first private I've ever met in this place," commented the bartender.