You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if...

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you just ordered a Whopper from Burger King and you stop to flirt with the person running the drive through window.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if back home your Daddy saves old kitchen appliances for target practice.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your uncle has an appliance on the front porch more than 40 years old.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you get up EARLY on Saturday so you can go yard sale shopping just for entertainment.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your gun cabinet takes up half your living room, and the lose floor boards in the bedroom conceal all the illegal explosives.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if any time your kids see a dog they get out their ropes and lasso it and tackle it to the ground.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have been gored by a rodeo bull more than 6 times.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if back home your bathroom has the words "porta" and "potty" written on the side.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you can't take a bath in the winter 'cause the neighbor drains his pool.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your twin baby sisters only bathe when it rains.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think "Dueling Banjos" is classical music.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you refer to the Surgeon General's Warning on a pack of cigarettes as your medical encyclopedia.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you go to garage sales to shop for Christmas gifts.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy is 62 and still has clowns come to his birthday party.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think 'possum is the "other white meat".

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you spray painted your wife's upholstery of her car to make it look new.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma can tell you apart by the sound of your mufflers.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think 'OFF' is a fine smelling cologne.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you installed a Clapper on your USMC Hummer headlights.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you need a dictionary to spell your name.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you don't change your socks until the first pair rots off.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if people ask your wife when her baby's due and she's not pregnant.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your driveway is two tire tracks with grass growing down the middle.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've ever invited friends over to show off what's left of the squirrel that you shot with your Desert Eagle .50 Cal handgun.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the idea for the Budwiser frogs came from listening to you and your friends trying to read the label on the bottle.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your bumper sticker reads "If you're missing your cat, look in my treads."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you joined the Marines because your 7 year old baby sister told you. "The South shall rise again, soon as it gets enough troops."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your kids learned to shoot before they learned to walk.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife place a classified asking that all the pennies left over from the 99 cent KMart sales be sent to her.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your younger 17 year old brother thinks higher math means counting over 10.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the local lake has to be restocked with Trout after you take a bath.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a lucky rabbit's foot in your pocket, and your Daddy has the lucky rabbit nailed above his fireplace.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife makes everyone re-use the dental floss to save money.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your high school homecoming basketball game was rained out.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your baseball bat "ain't never been used on a ball, but it's sure hit plenty of other things."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've ever shot a mouse inside your home with your deer rifle.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Jedi robe is a camouflage Marine Cammie Color.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you put Texas Steer Horns on the hood of your USMC Hummer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your D.I. asked you, "Why you have a live rabbit in your pocket?" and you reply, "That's my lucky rabbits foot."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you asked your D.I., "When do I get my Light Saber?"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side.. .it'll be a hoot."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the moonshine still you built at Parris Island is hidden so well even the guard dogs can't find it.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think the Iraqis are really Star Wars Sandpeople who would back down from your momma.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've ever tried to used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if back home the Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your family's Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when your brother, who died, complained about a tooth ache, and the Dental Surgical Instruments included a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy's old stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy's boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you told the Navy Corpsman that Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if Childhood Immunizations consisted of worn fanny-packs, full of lizard's feet, owl's beaks and pig's ears.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your family doctor only performs Double By-Pass Surgery on Daddy when it's shown on The Learning Channel.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if grandpa had a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack at the old folks home.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma shared the Recovery Room with a sick cow.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if back home all the family doctor bills are figured either in dollars, hogs, or chickens.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the CIA wants to recruit you for a secret mission.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Gunny Sgt. had to pull you off a dead Taliban because you were still questioning him.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think MUSLIM means:
M = more
US = us
L = less
IM = im

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you already new the distinct sound of an AK-47 Assault Rifle because your uncle brought back from from Vietnam.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you won the National Gator wreslin championships held in the Louisiana Bayous.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you use your airplane swamp boat to propel your old engineless pick'em up truck down the road.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the Cpl. assigns you to help out with the new admin building move, and later finds out you put all the computer monitors up on blocks.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife has more stomach wrinkles and lines by the age of 22 than any senior citizen at the old folks home.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have to slap your wife's big fat thigh and ride the wave in.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your grandpa is the oldest active rodeo clown in history at the age of 79.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you went in town with other Marines from the base and you picked up the ugliest whore in town and commented, "She still had all her teeth."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the closest you have ever been to the opera is your fat wife singing in the shower.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you were 12 years old you saw grandma getting out of the shower naked,

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when your pick'em up truck finally dies, you shoot it and the whole family turns out for the burial.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your USMC Hummer gets blown up in Afghanistan and you cry.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you love the smell of burnt flesh in battle.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you see an enemy town destroyed, body parts everywhere, you say, "Gul Darn, the buzzards are feasting tonight."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you volunteer for every dangerous mission the Marine Corp has and say, "Gunny, we goin to whup some evil ass tonight."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you see someone, no matter how far away they are, you yell out, "Howdy there, how Y'all doin?"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if most of your family members have been arrested at least once for carrying a concealed deadly weapon.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you pull up along side a South Carolina State Trooper with your USMC Hummer and say, "Let's get it on."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your deep in debt and the 'skip tracer' has to only call one number to find you.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the process server sits outside the Marine Main Gate waiting for you to come off base.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you had to be removed more than once from your wrecked USMC Hummer by the 'Jaws of Life.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if on more than one occasion you have put your Marine Boxer Shorts on backwards.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you brought your Iraqi Prisoner back strapped to the hood of your USMC Hummer and said to the Gunny, "This is better than deer hunting."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you collected the left ear from all the Tailban and Al Qaida you killed in Afghanistan and you wear them on a chain around your neck.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you spit chaw back at the African Spitting Cobra.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your nickname is 'Josey Wales.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a reputation of cutting off Iraqi Soldiers heads and putting them on upright sticks in the desert, but no one can find the bodies.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your 30 year Marine Recon Vet Sergeant even thinks your crazy.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you try and sneak an Arkansas pig on the troop transport ship headed to the Persian Gulf.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your ONLY ambition is to kill more enemy soldiers than your father and uncle did who were both in the Marine Corp. in Vietnam.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy has an old USMC Jeep up on blocks in his front yard and he sits out there telling all the neighborhood kids war stories.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you associate the Army's High Mountain Rangers with the mountain men from the movie 'Deliverance.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you volunteer to blow up all the rafts before crossing the river to engage the enemy.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you pissed down the back of the most senior Taliban you captured and said, "Damn fellas it's raining."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if every Tailban you personally captured sings like a Canary Bird upon M.I. Q & A Briefing, and the Intel Officer asks you why and you reply, "I told him if he didn't fess up that I would fuck his granny, his momma, and all his daughters with my shit stained big Marine wang that was from his papa's brown butt hole."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a live pet rattlesnake named 'Jake' in your foot locker.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Captain refers to you as 'Quick Draw' because you can whip out a pair of Desert Eagle .50 Caliber Pistols faster than any man alive, and hit a moving target at 100 feet away.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your D.I. calls you 'Gomer.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your D.I. refers to you as 'BooBoo' because you keep forgetting to climb back down the rope and just let go when you get to the top.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ask the Iraqi Soldiers who you just captured, if any of them speak "Southern?"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you can't afford condoms, and reuse the one you have by turning it inside out.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think Sex In The City is a locally produced porno flick.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you sell peep hole tickets to watch your younger 10 year old sister take a shower.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you wipe your runny nose on your D.I.'s shirt.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if after your D.I. makes you do 50 pushups you say, "Thanks Sarge."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you chaw, smoke, spit, cus, and fart all at the same time.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you hid your illegal contraband Cuban Cigar up your butt so your D.I. wouldn't confiscate it.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if all the girls in your home town are related.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your so drunk the next morning from R & R that you put your Boxer Shorts on the outside of your Marine Cammies.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if at the wedding your bride to be shows up smelling like a whorehouse, and she says, "Well I just wanted one last fling with your Daddy and brothers before we get hitched."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if while stationed in Saudi Arabia, you would sneak out at night and leave 'Southern Baptist Church Bulletins with a picture of Jesus Christ on the front, and old fashion bible thumping gospel music lyrics inside' on the door steps of wealthy Saudi Royal Family members.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if at your wedding your brother shows up wearing a pair of girls underwear on his head and says, "Y'all that was one hell of a shin dig bachelor party last night."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ask the Navy Doctor just how ya go about getting a penis reduction.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you hold regular contest with the colored folk on who has the largest penis.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you were in Vietnam and thought the water buffalo was a wild bore with long tusk.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you brought your cattle probe to the induction center.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you pulled out you penis in front of a bunch of female Naval Midshipmen at the Army-Navy game.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if a Navy Lt. says, "Look here Marine, do you know your talking to an officer?", and you say, "Sir, Yes SIR" and then turn around and moon him.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if on board a ship headed to the Persian Gulf you are personally responsible for starting over 200 fights between the Marines and Navy.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if while you were in Somalia you killed this ole' colored boy and saw he had a 18 inch long, 2 inch diameter penis, so you cut it off, kept it, and ask the doctor back home if he could do transplants.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you bought a Sprint Cell Phone and every month they messed up your phone bill, charged you airtime while they kept you on the phone arguing to correct it, and in a rage you finally showed up at the CEO's office and shoved it where the sun never shines. As a result you got your Marine Unit a Unit Citation and a 3-day pass.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ate a can of pork-n-beans and the enemy had to retreat because they advanced on your position without their gas masks.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you get into a heated discussion with the colored in your squad that 'Soul Food (black pussy as southerns call it)', smells like fish but tastes like chicken.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if after returning home from Afghanistan you ripped your sister's panties off with your teeth.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your on R & R in Italy and you ask every Italian you see, "Where's the organ grinder and his monkey?"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you and your dawg are gettin on in a fart contest and the town folk are placing bets on the winner.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you stared down a bear at the age of only three.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you had a female hunting dog named 'Tuffy' and you threw it a bone now and then.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your father was acquitted for murdering his first wife after she threw out his Elvis 45’s.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma sends you a letter at Boot Camp and says, "Son I have bad news, the front porch collapsed and four dawgs get killed."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you no longer drink California wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have 3 boys and their all named 'Junior.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if on Thanksgiving Day your momma had to decide which pet to eat.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever come home on leave and found crime scene tape across your front porch.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if besides you, your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you kissed your own wife at midnight at the New Year’s Eve party.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife vacuums the sheets instead of washing them.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your brother can't stop talking about the time he valet parked a snow plow.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you fart in public and blame it on your kid.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you watched your grandma siphon gas from her lawn mower to put into your truck.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if there are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the strongest smell in your house is butane.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ask the Marine Corp. Chaplain, “How’s it hanging?”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you go to a stock car race and don’t need a program.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a bumper sticker that says, “My mother’s an honor student” at the local junior high.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you played the banjo in your high school band.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your grandpa has no hubcaps on his old Chevy car because he's using them to feed the hunting dogs.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you can’t visit your relatives without getting mud on your tires.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma doesn’t put shoes on to go grocery shopping.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your entire family has ever been blacklisted by a bowling alley.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you want baseball players to spit and scratch more on national TV.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever been to a wedding reception at the House of Pancakes.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your dog has ever brought home something that your wife cooked for dinner.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your 11 year old son catches bugs just so he can throw them in the bug zapper.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever hollered, “Rock the house, Bubba!” during your 8 year olds piano recital.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your kids’ favorite bedtime story is “Curious George and the High Voltage Fence.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you know who is actually leading the Winston Cup series.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever had to turn your pick'em up truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your favorite hillbilly beer company cannot afford to advertise.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the fountain at your wedding spewed beer instead of champagne.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your favorite restaurant has the word “eats” anywhere in the name.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if there’s graffiti on the bathroom wall in your own house.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have grease under your toenails from working on the Hummer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your idea of a romantic evening is sharing the same spit cup with your new girlfriend at a tractor pull.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the most common phrase you hear at your family reunion is “What the hell are you lookin’ at Dickhead?”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your best coon hound gets a birthday present and your wife doesn’t.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think a manicure is some kind of French doctor.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your mama saves aluminum foil, and your sister saves lint.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your daughter cleans your house with a water hose.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if during the wedding ceremony the minister said, “Do you, DeWayne Elroy McCoy, take Connie Sue May Clampet to be your old lady?”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the game warden knows the serial numbers to your guns by heart.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the ATF has a personal file on your family marked "For Your EYES Only" on the outside of the folder

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you pawned your grandfather’s railroad pocket watch because you needed beer money for the weekend.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you took your coon dogs on your honeymoon.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your family will drive across town just to see a car wreck.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think that anyone with ten fingers and toes is abnormal.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever taken a generator and a 27-inch TV on Marine maneuvers.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if after Marine Boot Camp you helped booby trap your family’s marijuana crop.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have ever made a homemade frog spear.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the last time you saw your Uncle LeRoy he was outside, picking up trash, chained to three other guys.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if back home your sewage system consists of a pipe down a hillside.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your baby sister wears knee-high stockings with a skirt.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you follow the tractor pull circuit.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have more electronic equipment in your USMC Hummer than in your house.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your family's primary income involves pigs or manure.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your best sofa came out of an old Chevrolet.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your younger brothers were both expelled from summer school.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever been asked for your autograph at a rattlesnake roundup.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your baby’s crib toy is made out of beer cans.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever been asked to leave Shoney’s all-you-can-eat breakfast.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your grandpa has a grave in his front yard.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think the theory of relativity has something to do with inbreeding.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you wake up in the morning already dressed for work.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think the police can’t see you because your pick'em up truck is painted camouflage.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your sister is driving a vehicle with no original body parts.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you got a letter from momma and she said, "Daddy just quit his job because deer season’s fixin’ to start."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby due to an alien abduction.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever gotten into a fist fight over a bowling score.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your grandma is a member of the “Chaw of the Month Club.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever been hunting on a tractor.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever talked back to characters on the movie screen.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you won’t stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your kids hide the Easter eggs under cow patties.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever laid rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever towed another car using panty hose and duct tape.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you own a denim leisure suit.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tried to claim “loss of teeth” as an exemption on your taxes.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your daddy’s legacy is a gun rack and Jerry Clower’s autograph on a Stuckey’s napkin.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you take out a home improvement loan to buy a new camper shell.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you and six of your neighbors split a cable bill.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a sign on your front door explaining house rules and liability.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if people don’t recognize your family car without a dead animal on the hood.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your mailbox holds up one end of your wife's clothesline.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if no one in your family is actually able to read The Richard Petty Story, but they do like to look at the pictures.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the front license plate of your car has the words “Foxy Lady” written in airbrush.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma has ever tried to use food stamps to mail you a watermelon at Boot Camp.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your daddy refers to his beer gut as “the old tool shed.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever stolen a Neighborhood Watch sign to put in your yard.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your cowboy boots cost more than your wedding ring.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you proposed in a Denny’s.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you had to hitchhike on your honeymoon.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife saves cooking grease in a coffee can.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if there was no cutoff age for sleeping with your parents.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your doghouse and your living room both have the same shag carpet.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if both you and your 4 year old still share momma's milk.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you get drunk and tell all your Marine buddies lets take the Hummer out and get some fast food, we can find a deer and run over it at 65 mph.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever had to move a car seat to make love.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you got caught making love in the back of a Hummer at the USMC Motor Pool.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your favorite restaurant has a gas pump in front of it.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you don’t have a home phone, but you borrow your Marine buddies Sprint Cell Phone a lot.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think “Ross Perot” is how your cousin Ross got out of jail early.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if stealing road signs is a family day outing.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever taken a date flowers you’ve stole from a cemetery.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever relieved yourself from a moving USMC 5-Ton Oshkosh Truck.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your pickup truck and wife are the same age.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever given livestock as a wedding present.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think safe sex means putting on the emergency brake.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your 23-channel CB radio is used to communicate with your family.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife's bridal veil was made of window screen.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy retired to Florida and repaints his pink flamingo every spring . . . but not his house.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you whistle to get the attention of others, which your D.I. does NOT find amusing.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your college graduation ceremony includes parallel parking an 18-wheeler.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your toothbrush was a hand-me-down.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the nearest liquor store is brewing in your basement.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever had a conversation about Hummer tires that lasted more than an hour.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy took lawn furniture to a drive-in and that's where you and your twin sister were conceived.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Georgia State Senator is willingly photographed with no shirt and a leather vest on a Harley, but refuses to take a Breathalyzer test.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think virgin wool comes from ugly sheep.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you keep catfish in your aquarium.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your car breaks down on the side of the road and you never go back to get it.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if any of your hobbies require your naked sister, your dogs, and a lantern.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you know how to milk a goat.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've been so drunk you tried to milk a bull.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your two best high school friends were named Skeeter and Possum.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your idea of water conservation is moving your Saturday night bath to every other Saturday night.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if there are four pairs of pants and two squirrels hanging from your clothesline.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if back home your local newspaper has a front-page feature called “Cow of the Week.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your mother-in-law has the entire WWF slurpie cup collection proudly displayed on a shelf in her trailer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your favorite mixed drink includes Yoo-Hoo.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever attended a dance at the bus station.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Gunny found cats in your USMC Hummer last night because the interior smells like fried chicken.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you drive more than thirty miles to save money on a pack of cigarettes.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the highlight of your Daddy's day is still finding a prize in a Cracker Jack box.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the auto junkyard calls your grandpa to get spare parts.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if grandma owns a flamingo with buckshot holes in it.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your 6th wife just left you for this year’s winner of the hog-calling contest.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if it took the smartest kid in your 6th-grade class three times to pass his driving test.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you cut your toenails in front of the C.O.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your on leave in Italy and a beautiful Italian woman says she’s game, so you shoot her.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you regularly see kinfolks on “America’s Most Wanted.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the emergency room nurse knows everyone in your family by name.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you only been in the Marine Corp. six months and you already have 4 purple hearts.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your 5-year-old can rebuild a carburetor.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you take a nap with at least one hand tucked inside your pants.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you are famous for your impression of a dog choking on a chicken bone.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if one of your fantasies involves a bulldozer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your church has a “happy hour.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you punish your children by taking away their chewing tobacco.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife stockpiles pork and beans.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever lost your wife in a poker game.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think “social consciousness” means how well you can hold your liquor.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever participated in a barracks burp-off.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever heckled during a eulogy.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your dog rides in the front seat and your wife and kids ride in the back.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the church social committee is afraid to meet at your house.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever made love on a tire swing.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you show strangers your war wound.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your D.I. refers to you as 'Private Migraine.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your family reunion is sponsored by a beer company.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your grandma's mailing address includes the word “holler.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the Salvation Army comes to your momma's house and takes the wrong furniture.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if there are antlers the hood of your USMC Hummer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you refer to your dog as your youngest.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your dog had a litter of puppies last year and you can remember all their names but you can't remember your wife's name.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your older brother is over 30 and he is still giving other people “wedgies.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have three first names.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever water-skied in your underwear.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you throw a beer can out the truck window and your wife shoots it.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you won't let your wife join the Marine Corp. cus she shoots better than you.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your garbage man is confused about what stays and what goes.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the hood of your pick'em up truck is higher than the roof of your house.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your pick'em up truck seems to have NEWLY acquired camouflage Oshkosh Truck Parts.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think a dashboard is the best place to keep your hats.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you installed a gun rack in your USMC Hummer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think Dr. Pepper is a hoot.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever had sex while wearing work gloves.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you got a can of coke on the nightstand, the radio is playing the Coca Cola song, your having sex with some hooker, and you yell out, "God darn, things really do go better with Coke."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've ever had sex behind the Mess Hall.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Texas Chili’s secret ingredient comes from a bait shop.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if someone asks, “Where’s your bowling bag?” and you answer, “She’s at home with the kids.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the guys ask you if you want to go bowling, and you say, "Nahhh, I just finished balling."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your family’s #1 enemy is revenuers, and you got all the Treasury Agents pictures hanging on your 'Most Wanted Posters.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when describing your kids, you use the phrase “dumb as a brick.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your 2nd favorite cap says, “Babymaker.”

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’ve ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you get Odor-Eaters as a Christmas present.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife has been involved in more than six barroom brawls in the last two weeks.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy fishes coins out of public fountains.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your 12 year baby sister steals money from the Salvation Army buckets because she's an alcoholic.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your older brother will stare at a can of orange juice, because it says "concentrate."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you take your wife to your mistress's wedding.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you truly have a girl in every city, but they call them wives.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have more wives than any Mormon in history.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife spits in the skillet to check the temperature.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if on the 4th of July your momma spend it at the waffle house beside a drunk while waiting to get your pastor out of jail

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you win the lottery and buy a double wide trailer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife is so ugly you take her everywhere you go so you never have to kiss her good-bye.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your brother's arrest for bigamy, your divorce granted from your first wife and your license to wed to your second wife are in the same newspaper.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you stop picking your nose in traffic long enough to wink at the girl next to you.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you find girls in uniform sexy.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ever been rushed to the emergency room because you swallowed your 'Redman.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma has the bail bondsman on speed dial.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think the "Nutcracker" is something you do on the diving board.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you hear someone mention the depression and you think they are talking about when Bubba's Bait Market ran out.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when being shipped out, you ask your buddy to kiss your wife good bye.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you just hate getting strip searched by the guard every time you go visit your cousin Bubba.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma makes two turkeys for Thanksgiving, one for the family and the other for the dogs.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your idea of home security is keeping all the guns loaded.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you're at a family reunion and you wear a shirt that says, "I'm related to you!!!"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you know which leaf is best to use when you're out of toilet paper.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you are the youngest in the family and the first to graduate.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you swallow a minnow just to impress the lady cashier at the local bait shop.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you flick rubber bands at cock roaches.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you were eight years old you waited all night to shoot one mouse with your grandma's BB gun.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy learned the alphabet by eating Campbell's alphabet soup.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if grandpa keeps sheep in his backyard because they never, ever tell.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your second favorite song is --------Old McDonnell!!!!!

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your toilet seat says "Sit Here".

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you bathe your cat in the toilet to get rid of the fleas and ticks.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if back home your transpiration is was your boat.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if none of these jokes are making sense to you.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your at a family reunion, your mother-in-law goes to the bathroom and then says, "Y'all come look at this 'fore I flush it."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you invite your Marine Buds to your family reunion for a sex orgy.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you use the CD-ROM drive on your computer to hold your beer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a piece of cardboard that says "No Trespassing" beside your front door.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife's idea of a sanitary napkin is one of your dirty work socks left beside the toilet.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you always start a story with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit!"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think that "Winnie-the-Pooh" is something your Granny just left on the rug.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have three kids named: Peggy Sue, Peggy Jean, & Peggy Bob (the cross dresser).

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy brings home from school a certificate that reads "The Best Reader in the Fourth Grade" for third year in a row.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you go to the bank for a loan and the loan officer asks to see the stock you have listed as collateral, so you bring in the three hogs you bought last month at the auction.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your life savings is buried in your back yard.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think beef stroganoff is when the bull is playing with himself.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your dog can smoke a cigarette.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you buy a padded headboard to practice safe sex.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you're going up the highway and hear a kid ask his mom if he can get out and push their car too!

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you were allowed to drink beer and date the teacher all through high school.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you painted your truck camouflage and now you can't find it.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife wears tight leather and it makes her look like a re-tread.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your brother is your wife's favorite son.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you buy your new bride a burned down trailer and tell her "this is a fixer up"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you heard that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so you moved.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if truck drivers tell your wife to watch her language.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if someone can circumcise you by kicking your little sister in the jaw.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the most common phrase in your house is "someone go jiggle the handle."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you purposely feed the cockroaches.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your uncle's 14 year old kid is out in the front lawn and sayin "Ai Pane Ai Pane."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you use the word ain't a lot.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your uncle has 500 men working under him and he cuts the grass at the cemetery.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if somebody says, "HO DOWN" and your wife falls to the ground!!

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you scratch your butt at night and smell your hand in the morning.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've ever attended a Gun and Knife show as a dealer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a motor swinging from a tree in your yard, a dog tied to the fence post, and someone sitting in a rocking chair that's over 75 and has a Remingtom 12 gauge across their lap, and spit cup on the floor.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a peeing contest with your wife and she wins.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your family gathers for Monday Night RAW.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've ever used a toaster to light your cigarette.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when your off duty you wear camouflage pants with a plaid flannel shirt and combat boots.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you own a badly made, ugly gun cabinet that you made in wood shop.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you carry a gun to the store "just in case the car breaks down and a stranger approaches to help."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your own farts don't seem to smell so bad.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have an aunt-mom and uncle dad.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you made your table lamp outta popsicle sticks.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ask what's for dinner and your wife props her legs on the table and says "crabs".

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you're having sex with your wife and she tells you, "That tickles."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your looking at your wife's pussy and say, "That's a BIG Pussy" That's a big pussy, and she asked you, "Why did Y'all say that twice", and you say, "I didn't."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a bumper sticker on your Hummer that says, "Hey Saddam, kiss the crack below my back."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you base the purchase of a refrigerator on how many cases of beer it holds.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you make your dogs sleep on top of the house in the rain because you can't afford to patch the roof.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you get turned on when your girlfriend shoots an armadillo.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have had the taxidermist stuff more than three animals on the endangered species list.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you buy your wife camouflage lingerie.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if back home when you were young you'd borrow sleeveless T-shirts from your Momma.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tell your wife to squeal like a pig to start foreplay.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you think of the planet Saturn you think of your mother-in-law at the same time.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you were in Vietnam your way of seeing if you need to bathe was by sticking your hand between your butt cheeks and smelling it.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a working television on top of a broken one.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your garage is so full you can't park your car in it.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if invite your Marine Buddies over to watch stag films and you and your baby sister are the stars.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if before joining the Marines you had two pairs of jeans, and six pairs of boots.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ever say "oh yeah I can fix it".

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your favorite night of the week is wraslin night on TV.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma's car has more than three bumper stickers with the word jesus on them.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if no matter how times you clean your hands, the dirt under your nails won't come off.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think that duct tape works better than spot welding.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you go to strip joints with your Daddy to watch your grandma, momma, sisters, and wife take it off.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you lock your wife in the closet so she can't talk on Thursday night because smack-down is on.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you won't get your dog "fixed" because you never no when someone might want him to stud.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your brother's in jail for murderding your uncle because he caught him having sex with his favorite hunting dog.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you slam your truck's door and your 12 gauge makes a new sun roof.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have stuffed heads from the following: a deer, a moose, a mallard, a Siamese cat, a largemouth bass, and your mother-in-law.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy and Uncle compete for the only single gal in town with all her teeth.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you watch Jerry Springer to see if any of your relatives are on the show today.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you take a six-pack and cooler to church.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you bum a pinch of chew from your girlfriend.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a sign hanging in your bedroom that says "We interrupt sex to bring you deer season"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you look both ways before crossing a one way street.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you can't resist walking on the grass after it was posted with a sign that says, "Do Not Walk On Grass."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your birthday cake was a Twinkie.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tip the waiter with change.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your brother's honeymoon was featured on true stories of the highway patrol.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think 401k is your mother-in-law's bra size.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you pay for the hooker with a pocket full of change.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if more than two of your family members have been seen on RealTV.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if instead of buying your girlfriend candy and flowers, you spray paint her name on an overpass.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your local yellow pages has only 3 sections: places to get cigarettes, place to get liquor, and places to get bait.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the library in your city ran out of the book "The ABC's of Belching".

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a Rebel flag in your front yard, and you painted one in the bed of your USMC Oshkosh Truck!

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think that the apple com-pu-ter is the latest in new fangled tech-o-nol-o-gee.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy's airplane cost him less than 15 hundred bucks and uses two stroke oil.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you say "I tell you wut!" more than 3 times a day.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your daddy's last words were "Hey Y'all look what I can do!"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your dog wants you to be the girl tonight.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you fell in love with a girl and write "I Love You" using duck tape on the side of your USMC Hummer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you get drunk while mowing the grass.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a beer cooler on your riding lawn mower.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if hot dogs and pork-n-beans are your favorite mess hall dinner.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you put mud grips on your Hummer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have no idea who the President is but you can name five NASCAR drivers in a single belch.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your D.I. explains the pay rate by time and grade and you say, "Guleeee, we get paid for having fun."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've ever been in a fist fight involving the phrase "Dale Earnhardt is the Intimidator".

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think 7-11 is a grocery store.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if if the dashboard of your USMC Hummer is covered with empty cigarette cartons and the floor is covered Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper bottles.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy use to pick you up from school in a Swamp Buggy.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you refer to Walmart as going to the mall.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you go into an auto parts store and tell them you need a part for your Chevy and when they ask you make and model you answer, "They're all the same."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you go coon hunting with a spot light instead of a dog.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you hunt deer from your Hummer while its moving.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife can out drink you or any of your Marine buddies and is willing to prove it.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you consider yourself the black sheep of the family because you are the only one not living in a trailer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you call a chicken a yard bird.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you see your grandmother naked and it turns you on.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you're home schooled and you date someone in your class.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Mamma was ever asked to leave a Bingo game because of her language.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the Pentagon wants to use you to test a new drug on.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the biggest city you've ever been to is a Super Wal-Mart.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think a tv dinner consists of a RC Cola and a bowl of collar greens.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you join the Marines for the free uniforms.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your 80 year old grandma can shoot better than you.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your sister has ever peed in the sink cuz your momma was hogging up the outhouse.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy has ever surrendered to the police in exchange for a hot meal and a carton of cigarettes.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you divorced your 1st. cousin, married your 2nd. cousin and are cheating with your 3rd. cousin.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife dust the furniture with her underwear.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you give Tic-Tacs out at Christmas instead of candy canes.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if back home your Daddy, older brother, and four uncles would pass the his teeth around so everyone could eat diner.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your auntie thinks garbage pickin' is a hobby.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wedding cake was made by Sara Lee.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think the unibomber was a wrestler.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've ever gotten a "lap" dance from your sister!

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if only time you spent sober was at Boot Camp.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if any of your children were conceived under a stop light.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if they closed lover's lane because of illegal sex acts by various members of your family.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you are naked on laundry day.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the words NASCAR, huntin, tire, dawg, wresslin, or shotgun appeared in your wedding vows.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your sister has more hair on her legs and under her arms than you do.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your dog can open a beer can for you.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think your sister is sexier than your wife.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you, your uncle, and your daddy all share the same mistress.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ever told your Momma that her big ass makes her look sexy in mini skirts.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you thought Texas A&M is a root beer made in Texas.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you were a boy your Daddy name his dogs after his favorite "Playboy" centerfold, and showed you why.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your porn collection is also called the family videos.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think the WWF (WWE) is a romantic sport.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you put a corn cob on a screwdriver and call it a back-scratcher.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you get a real hoot out of the KKK for being a bigot.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you wore your Burger King hat to your Prom.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your son Bubba Jr. uses his school locker as a gun cabinet.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if 98% of your platoon's punishment in Boot Camp was caused by you.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if tell your company commander you can lick anyone from Texas and your from Texas.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your kids lay in wake using stealth techniques to rob the other children in the neighborhood of their Halloween candy.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you really wanted to join the Police Force in your home town and they wouldn't let you because you were a high school graduate and the Chief of Police, the Mayor, and your local State Senator were all afraid you were after their jobs, so you had to join the Marines instead.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your grandma was a 'Mojo Woman' from the Louisiana Bayous and she taught you how to shrink heads and now your teaching this art to the M.E.U.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if girls walking the streets ask him for a date, and he feels this is his lucky day.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you hear a guy standing on the street saying, "Crack, Crack, Crack," and you pull up your Marine Cammies.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife tells you she is being blackmailed and you want to know what yankee she is having an affair with.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think it would be funny to go out as a ghost on Halloween, and run around the ghetto with a white sheet over your head.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you fart and the cops come.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've got a deer crossin' sign on your Hummer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you start your pickup truck and people think they are getting shot at.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy keeps his food stamps in a money clip.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you and your dog use the same tree.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think the OJ Trial was a
Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your grandfather died and left everything to his widow. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call..."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if Momma sends you a letter at Boot Camp and says, "The third grade teacher told us little Bubba
could be a mathematical genius because he's got thirteen fingers."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you spray paint all your
girlfriend's names on the same overpass.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma made you a homemade fur coat.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the FBI surrounded your trailer park twice so far this year.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your ponders for hours on how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if they just raised the drinking age in your state to 32 on account of they wanted to keep alcohol out of the schools.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the Home Shopping operator recognizes your wife's voice.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your scrawny ass dog can't watch you eat without getting sick.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you was little, your front yard got toilet papered and your momma thought it was a gift from God.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you removed the back seat from your car so all yer kids could fit in.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your uncle was acquitted for murdering your second wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you thinks 'JUGS' means Dolly Parton's Big Breasted Tits.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think a Vasectomy means some use of Vaseline and having Anal Sex with your cousin Tommy.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your buddies have nicknamed you 'The Preacher.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think NASCAR stands for:
N on
A thletic
S port
C reated
A round
R ednecks

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think Rattlesnake Meat is a key ingredient in Chili.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've ever been asked to do an American Express Credit Card commercial.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you played high school football without a helmet.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your buddy says, "Hay, see that girl over there, you can almost see her panties." And, you respond by saying, "She doesn't wear any panties." Your buddy just stairs at you, and you say, "She's my sister."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tried to pump the flat tire on your Marine 7-Ton Oshkosh Truck with a bicycle pump.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if when you were 8 years old your Daddy said, "Well son, your the man of the house now." This was because your Daddy and all your brothers were in prison.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you been having sex with your cousin Ella May and suddenly after 4 years of interlude, you say, "Darn Gal, you finally got tits."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you and your wife are in a contest with your cat as to who can have the biggest litter.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy is arrested because he got your momma pregnant. She also happens to be your 12 year old sister.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you brought your own personal back up weapon, an ankle holstered .38 snub revolver, with you into combat.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your D.I. finds an inflatable doll in the backseat of your Hummer.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think goin on a mission means looking for a new wife.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if more than 5 times in one day you say your going to rip somebody's head off and shit down their neck.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you receive a letter from home and the primary discussion is about farm animals.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your son is expelled from school for bringing a dead cat to class and syaing, "See what my coon dawg is capable of."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tried to apply for Barney Fife's assistant in the town of Mayberry.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your favorite character in Mayberry RFD is Goober.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your favorite Christmas song is 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Raindeer.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you installed a 'Wolf Whistle' on your pick'em up truck.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you go Disneyland and you actually ware a pair of Mickey Mouse Ears and a pair of giant sunglasses.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your grandma is the local taxidermist.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the Captain tells the Gunny Sgt. to get me that 'Feeble Minded Nitwit' and you com-a-running because you know he is talking about you.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Gunny catches you milking an Iraqi Goat in the middle of a battle because you just had to have some refreshment before goin on!!

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ask where's the shuffle board on the Navy Transport Ship.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your buddies ask you if you want to shoot some golf balls, and you show up wearing your sniper uniform.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you go into town, see some Middle Eastern lookin people, pull out your Desert Eagle .50 Cal, yell terrorist attack, and kill them all dead in the street.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you attend your daughter's pajama party.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you take a fishing pole with you to Iraq.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think a Hippo's butt is attractive.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think the swine flu is a gay hog.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife has a tattoo on her butt that says, "Property of _____."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you play Golf in the rain.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you brought some Georgia maskeeters with you just so you would have a touch of home.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you use a turtle shell for an ash tray.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tell your D.I. that your Bionic Indicator is on.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you constantly keep signing to yourself, 'A horse is horse of course of course unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think your masquito netting is a fishing net.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you carry a roll of duck tape on a chain around your neck.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your son was expelled from school for fighting with another boy over 'His Daddy could whip the other boy's Daddy, and both children have the same father, YOU!!"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tell your D.I. he can have your sister if you get seconds for breakfast.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you told the Navy Nurse she had great jowls.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you told the female Navy Doctor she could strum on your guitar if you could whistle in her wheat field.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tell your buddies your going to take a Wee Wee and then say, "You know thats French for pee pee."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tell your D.I. don't worry sarge about all that there Sarine and VX Gas effecting me, its just like playing at the toxic pond back home.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tell your dog to go fetch and he brings your younger sister naked from the shower into your bedroom, drops her on the bed, wags his tail and leaves.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you yell out to your Marine buddies in the barracks, "ya'll better not go near that comode any time soon."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you tell your momma how you just learned your A, B, D's.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your sister just got a job at Bill's Hilltop Restaurant as a roller blade waitress.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife is so fat that you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the population of your home town is less than 200 and everyone has the same last name.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you been known to ride a Harley Davidson Motorcycle naked through town.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you often confused the words Muslim with mucas, or Arab with asshole.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if scratch your ass and balls in public.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your favorite pickup line is "Does this look infected to you?"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have more fingers than you do teeth.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ask the Navy Corpman wheather the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole and he replies "Its a gummy bear."

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife and ex-wife are sisters.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your house has more dogs than the local animal shelter.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you consistantly receive credit card offers with a limit of $11.25.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your postman puts rubber gloves on when he sees your wife put the red flag on your mailbox.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you can yell to your mom, "Hey, Aunt Betty!"

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if none of your wife's shirts cover her belly stretch marks.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you let your kid pee in the parking lot at K-Mart.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think the vittles are mighty fine at the MC Mess Hall.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you got a string of aligator teeth around your neck.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you signed up for the USMC Canine Dog Squad.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your sister's education goal is to get out of highschool before she gets pregnant.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if think the outdoor market is a place to buy hogs.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your 14 year old daughter was caught masturbating using an M-16 shell casing.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've hit on somebody in a VD clinic.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you took a fishin pole with you to the Iraqi Desert.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your parents property has been mistaken for a recycling center.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you know how many bales of hay your Daddy's car will hold.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your families picture is at Sea World because you tried to ride 'Willy the Whale.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife and daughter wear the same underwear.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your wife has used the ironing board as a buffet table.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your mother wrote and said your brother missed his 5th grade graduation because he had jury duty.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Daddy was arrested in Florida for running a Pre Teen Erotica Modeling Agency.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you wear a horseshoe and chain around your neck.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if both your 12 year old younger sister and your 12 year old daughter enter the local Chaw Spitting Contest.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if after visiting Seaworld you now call your wife 'Shamu.'

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you were stopped by U.S. Customs for having a chain around your neck containing the left ear of every Taliban you killed.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you married a 'natural' dumb blonde and made her dye her hair brown.

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you recently had a head scan and brain x-ray and a peanut is all that showed up.

More ‘Redneck Marine’ >>>>

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