A Scottish private walked into the pharmacy near his base, pulled a beat-up,
mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asked the pharmacist how much it would
cost to repair the condom.
The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spot welding the
holes, it would cost 26 pence, but that for 29 pence, he could sell the private
a new one.
The private said, "Aye, that is a weighty decision, I shall be back in
two hours with an answer."
Two hours later, The Scotsman returns and said, "The regiment has voted
to replace."