OVEREXPOSURE One private asked another: "How did you manage to get arrested by MPs, Mac?"...
DREAM LAND Her son was on overseas duty with address Fleet Post Office, New York commonly abbreviated as FPO, NY. She wrote: "My son, I guess you are in a beautiful oriental country with such an exotic name FPO, NY. Is it in Japan?"...
IGNORANCE IS NO DISGRACE The little brother of an Army radar operator asked: "Jim, tell me how does a radar work?"...
Sex on Submarines The following was over heard from a Naval Analyst: ...
Coast Guard Assistance A friend, driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn't have a CB radio in his car, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance. ...
DIAGNOSIS "You've got a touch of pneumonia," said the medical officer after examining the new enlistee....
You might be an Airborne Soldier if... The first thing you do in the morning is put in a dip...
ABNORMALITY A man had enlisted in the Army after serving with the Navy for four years. Upon his enlistment, he had to undergo the same physical and mental examinations as any other Army recruit....
Russian milirary humor General in front of the line:
- If I won't find the guilty I'll nominate him! ...
Grunt, sailor and airman...
BLOODSHED The first reveille at a Marine Corps boot camp was a nightmare for boots. But they finally managed to dress and line up. The sergeant was going at them a tongue-lashing for being so slow and sloppy, when a still undressed figure slithered into line. The sergeant stormed over and glared into the boy's cut and bleeding face. "Soldier," began the sergeant in a quiet voice of controlled frustration, "did it take you all this time to shave?"...
True Story At the Oceana, Va, Naval Air Station, I was training a young ground-crew member on how to direct an F-14 into the fuel pit. I glanced over to check wing clearance and, when looked back, discovered that he had taxied the aircraft too far forward from the fuel hose to reach. ...
A Mild Sense of Panic The sun rose, blood red and looming, topping the minarets on the skyline with a rosy glow. Atop Episkopi Hill, some ten miles to the west of Limassol, huddled two of Scotland's finest. Outside the roofed entrenchment, Rab was hunched over the wireless set checking calibrations; dials and gauges being easily read through the windows, already losing their luminosity in the rapidly lightening dawn. Inside, I had been no less busy. "Brew's up". I handed Rab his mug, accepting the fag and lighter in return. "Right. We'll finish these fags, then check in; just in case they think we're lost"....
SIMPLE THING The OD sees a sentry on the post with an open umbrella over his head....
A stores funny...
Curfew time Two UN peacekeepers on stag duty in Bosnia.....they see a guy running hard along the road, arms pumping and legs flying everywhere, one of the soldiers raises his SA80, aims the weapon and drops the guy in a single shot..... the other soldier says "what do you think you're doing???", he replies "22:00 mate, curfew time", the soldier checks his watch and screams "But it's only 21:30"!!!! "I know", replies his mucker, "But he lives 2 miles away......he would've never made it back in time"!!!!!
...
26 ways to tell you've had too much AFJROTC...
WRONG DRILL "Man overboard!" shouted the young sailor on his first voyage. Amid great confusion the ship was stopped. The sailor reported to the captain....
Russian milirary humor A soldier sends home a hand grenade.
"Dear granny! If you pull this ring, I`ll be able to get three day`s leave." ...
Bosnian Quarterback Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Raiders team for '99. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. ...
INGENIOUS COUNTER IFF TRICK An Air Force brass hat called his engineer expert and told him: "I've just read a remarkable trick motorists use to confuse would-be witnesses to an accident."...
GRIPES A committee was appointed to call on the ship's captain and register a complaint about the kind of food sailors were getting....
Sneaky Americans In the final days before the massive ground attack on Iraq in Operation Desert Storm, a tank company was moved to a position 15 to 20 kilometers from the Iraqi border. It was a very flat, open area that left them vulnerable to Scud missile attacks. Therefore, every evening they repositioned one kilometer to make targeting more difficult. It meant tearing down tents, camouflage nets, communications gear, barbed wire and more, only to reassemble it ten minutes later in a new location. Since there were othere units to the south, east and west, the only direction they could move was north, closer to the border....
DECEPTION MANEUVER During a parachute jumping training flight one cadet was afraid to hit the silk. Everybody in the plane had jumped but Cadet Sylvester remained trembling like an aspen leaf, as the phrase goes....
20 ways you no you had to much Sea Cadets ~ Sullivans Divison You no you had to much Sea Cadets when.... ...
Training Cruise During a training cruise, a destroyer was weaving its way through a myriad of islands and small fishing boats. Although it was a clear day, the radar was in operation to train the reservists. A report came from the radar room to the bridge, "Target bearing 230 degrees, believe it to be a log."...
Draftee A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt....
CLEANLYNESS IS NEXT TO GOODNESS Three brats (Army, Navy and Air Force) were boasting about their respective fathers....
Russian milirary humor "Good morning, general! What's up? Today you are without your medals?"
"What! I forgot to pin them from my pyjamas!" ...
Office of Civil Defense
EMERGENCY INSTRUCTIONS IN CASE OF NUCLEAR ATTACK 1. Do not panic. Remain seated at your desk....

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