Some Leading Papers' Coverage of Custer's Massacre Variety: "Custer Closes Out of Town"...
Soldiers "Private, where did you get that rifle?" asked the colonel when the young soldier returned from the battlefield....
THE GI AND HIS HONEYMOON During the occupation of Japan, a young GI fell in love with a beautiful Japanese girl. After many months of courtship, they wanted to get married. The U.S. government did not like to have mixed marriages, but they continued to fight for their love rights. ...
Only Once Somewhere in Albania, two footsore soldiers enjoying a much-needed break were discussing differences between army life and the civilian variety. ...
Soldier "Look here, Private, this man beside you on this fatigue detail is doing twice the work you are."...
New Basic Training Rules In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training: ...
Headlines. MARINE HERK NIPS STARLIFTER IN ‘99 FACE-OFF McGuire AFB, NJ...
Reinforcements Two soldiers somewhere in Macedonia hunkered down near a stone-walled building for a much-needed rest. ...
HOW TO OPERATE A HELICOPTER MECHANIC By William C. Dykes ...
OUR MARINE UNIT, deployed to Saudi Arabia during Operation Desert Storm, was moving west on a road carved out of desert by Seabees and Marine engineers. Along the "Miracle Mile," we saw various signs bearing Marine abbreviations such as COC (Combat Operations Center). When we came upon DIP in large black letters, my driver and I guessed: Division Infantry Position? Demarcation Infantry Post? Suddenly, our vehicle jolted violently, throwing equipment around the cab. As our heads hit the canvas roof, we looked at each other and yelled, "Dip!"
by Capt. Donald J. Hard ...
Army/ Air Force Burnout Prevention Programs STOP DENYING....
Marching One American soldier in Macedonia to another, "I dread the day they tell us to march on the enemy with bayonets fixed."...
Toughest Whore in the Yukon One day, after some training in Alaska, a lonesome Marine came down from the mountains on libo and walked into a saloon in the nearest town....
A Marine walks in the restroom and sees a Sailor standing at the urinal, fussing with the thirteen buttons on his pants...
THE SGT. MAJOR An Army Sgt. Major walks into a whorehouse and approaches the madam and says,"My name is Sgt. Major Dick and I'm here for a woman!" ...
Message One of the NATO support ships, somewhere in the waters off Yugoslavia, cut in front of the lead ship, missing it by inches....
TOOTHLESS WONDERS Two buddies are on their way to the U.S. Army Induction Center for physicals. Neither wants to go to war, so one says, "I hear that if you don't have any teeth they won't take you." ...
DANGEROUS TORPEDO During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something - at least they would die laughing. ...
The US Marine Corps Bar Reference Guide SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer....
Patry Two American soliders were standing on Normandy on D-Day. One of them is dressed like a regualor solider. Then second solider was wearing a bathing suit and was holding a surf board! The first man talks to the second one:...
Best? boots Preparing for the annual freedom of Tewksbury parade always involved a best boots inspection. One morning before starting work (we were REMFs you know) all the singlys gathered at the accommodation block. CSM came to judge our best efforts, various comments as usual until he came to Ginger Billings.
"What are those?" says CSM, looking down.
"Best boots, Sir" came the reply.
"Is that black polish, Cpl Billings?"
"No Sir"
"Is it marillo?" <sp?>
"No Sir"
"What is it Cpl Billings?"
"Gloss paint, Sir"
...
Submarine Humor In the 60's the Nautilus was spending so much time at the pier that the Sub Base started using it as a temporary barracks for sailors being discharged in the coming months.
One morning the XO was introducing one of these sailors when someone from the back asked how long he was going to be on the boat? "Just a couple of months." he replied.
To this the COB piped up with a disgusted look on his face "All we get on here anymore is short timers and misfits."
A voice came out of the crowd, "Hey chief which one are you?"...
What NCOs have noticed about Officers ::: Military humor & jokes...
What to Do "The young army doctor was stationed at a remote dispensary in the South Pacific....
Sticky buns During World War II my father was transferred to a military base and was expected to undergo a full medical and dental examination. He had the medical checkup as soon as he reported for duty, but neglected to visit the camp dentist....
Pentagon Translations
What Pentagon officials say - And what they really mean: Essentially Complete
It's half done ...
A woman army driver, after a long drive arrived at her destination, a remote camp, at midnight...
World War II era Jokes Q: What do you do if a German throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back....
In the army now A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough, his Father asked him what he thought of Army life....
"How Do You Call It In Sweden?" An American soldier was on duty in Sweden. He took a Swedish gal out to the movies. They settled in, started some light petting, and the American says, "Now in America we call this hamburger." ...

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