1. Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word.
2. Can remember when there weren't so many pussy Airmen.
3. Have a spine.
4. Can play a cherry ALO like a finely tuned instrument.
5. Can see in the dark.
6. Have eyes in the back of their heads.
7. Would rather be on the field than behind a desk.
8. Have wet dreams about leading an assault on Baghdad.
9. Still don't trust the Russians.
10. Still hate the British.
11. Don't know how to be politically correct.
12. Don't give a damn about being politically correct.
13. Think that "politically correct" should fall under "sodomy"
in the UCMJ.
14. Love deploying to combat because there is less paperwork and more "real"
work.
15. Can run a mile and a half with a hangover, but can't fiqure out how to pass
a ten minute bike ride.
16. Have enough ribbons on their blues to be Mexican field marshals, and the
points to match.
17. Do not fear women in the military.
18. Would actually like to date G.I. Jane.
19. Know that there is a difference between "giving orders" and "going
through the orders process".
20. Don't like taking orders from a guy whos only qualifications are that he
has a college degree.
21. Still know how to use a buffer.
22. Can tell you anything you want to know about an F-4 even though they are
no longer in the AF inventory.
23. Believe that they do have a rendezvous with destiny.
24. Know that the Cuban military was too God Damn stupid to have assassinated
Kennedy.
25. Believe that "Nuts" wasn't all that Brigadier General McAuliffe
said to the Germans at Bastogne.
26. Don't know how to use a "stress card".
27. Idolize John Wayne.
28. Don't believe that AAFES really needs a "commander".
29. Can remember when faggots were fair game.
30. Won't brief it if it is too complicated to fit on one page of those little
green notebooks.
31. Would have paid money to see Custer getting his clock cleaned.
32. Really don't like taking shit from those who haven't "been there".
33. Believe that "commanders call", was invented by individuals who
couldn't lead their way out of a field latrine.
34. Know how to properly construct a field latrine.
35. Know how to do a daisy chain.
36. Knows that a daisy chain is not a sex act.
37. Might admire the Germans, but still realize they got their asses kicked.
38. Aren't afraid of the Chinese, who probably don't have enough rowboats to
invade Taiwan.
39. Would rather be OPFOR than MOPP 4.
40. Know that the New Air Force is more screwed up than the old one.
41. Think that the neutron bomb would be appropriate for the Bosnia and Iraq
scenarios.
42. Don't believe a damn thing the Iraqis say.
43. Don't need a GPS to find themselves.
44. Think of military pilots as guys who wear pajamas to work.
45. Have enough BDU's and long johns in their closet to start a surplus store.
46. Think that MRE's taste good. (with a little hot sauce)
47. Would like to see what kind of creature "ham and chicken loaf"
comes from.
48. Still have greens in their closet, hoping they will eventually change back.
49. Can be found eating and bunking with the troops.
50. Are convinced that "wall-to-wall" counseling really works.
51. Have more time in the field than most others have in the chow line.
52. Know that volleyball and drinking 101, are the most important subjects taught
in tech school.
53. Know how to make coffee when the measuring scoop goes missing.
54. Know that it's not good coffee when you can see through it, nor when you
can stand a track jack up in it.
55. Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M-16.
56. Know that shitty leaders will always say they have shitty soldiers