Humor In Uniform ON MY FIRST day as an MP, my partner and I were approaching an intersection when the car in front of us went flying through a red light. As I started to pursue the car, my partner reached over and turned on our lights and siren. Instinctively, I slowed down and pulled over.
When my partner asked what in hell I was doing, I told him I was stopping for the emergency vehicle. "That's us, you idiot!" he shouted. "Now go get that car!" ...
Army nurse Q: Did you hear about the army nurse who went to bed eating popcorn?
A: She woke up with a kernel between her legs. ...
I spent 22 years in the Army with 20 of it in the Infantry.
I thought I was, "A Self-Propelled Pop Up Target"....
Custer's Last Thoughts The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts. ...
Diplomat... A Person Who ::: Military jokes and humor daily...
Rebel Group of Squirrels ::: Military jokes and humor daily...
The 12 Days of Procurement. FROM: Office of the Secretary of Defense ...
Plane Parts One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."...
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you shove a grenade up a bearded Taliban’s ass and yell timber! ...
Civil War Humor Grant’s Cypher Wheel <em>Among the possessions of Lincoln's assassin, John Wilkes Booth, was purportedly found a cypher wheel or decoding device used to send and receive secret messages. Conspiracy theorists point to Gen. Grant's alledged possession of such a device to prove a link between the War Department and the President's murder. How these men, one a Presidential assassin, and the other a future president, came into possession of such devices is the subject of the following essay. </em>...
Learning to Fly A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff." ...
I Want You... I was going through some old papers the other day and I came across an old letter which my step-father recieved(I don't know where from.) ...
Those wacky weapon names Y'know how the planes involved in the gulf war have nicknames (the best of which is the "Wild Weasel")? Several of us were speculating about David Letterman's Top Ten Rejected Airplane Nicknames. In no particular order, we've come up with ...
French naval pun [Heard years ago on the BBC Radio 4 programme `Quote Unquote']...
Veteran’s Hospital Shooting the breeze down at the Veteran's hospital, a trio of old timers ran out of tales of their own heroic exploits and started bragging about their ancestors. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh." ...
Job Security for Tech Writers spotted in a recent _New Scientist_ article on ``the paperless office'':...
Navy award ceremony planned The Navy has announced that for the first time in forty-five years they will be presenting the ADM Chester Nimitz Award to a member of the U. S. Pacific Fleet.
The ADM Chester Nimitz Award was established in 1942 during World War II and is presented annually to the United States Navy submarine that sinks the most Japanese tonnage in any one calendar year. ...
The Marine Corps' First Sea Story "Legend has it that the United States Marine Corps was born on 10 November, 1775, at Tun Tavern, in Philidelphia, Pennsylvania. On that day, the Continental Congress passed a resolution authorizing two battalions of Continental Marines. The resolution was sponsored by John Adams. Since 1921, the Corps has celebrated its birthday as 10 November. ...
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think doctorin' involves mamma's sewing kit and a jug. ...
Civil War Humor Moses Johnson, THE Black Confederate The recent publication of such books as _Black Confederates and Afro-Yankees in Civil
War Virginia_ by Ervin Jordan and _Black Southerners In Gray_ by Richard Rollins have renewed interest in the role of African-Americans in the Confederacy. While there is little doubt that African-Americans made significant contributions, albiet reluctantly; as laborers, teamsters and servants, their role as soldiers in the Confederate armies is much less documented. While some insist that there were NO African-American Confederates; others point to accounts of hundreds or thousands of black men in gray uniforms. This story examines one possibility. ...
Soviet joke Czech walks into police station in 1968 during the Fraternal Assistance....
WW II joke This comes from a box of my Dad's stuff from World War II. I transcribed it as accurately as I could from the original yellowed memo (I fixed a few spelling errors, but left any wording errors as they were). ...
World War II joke This comes from a box of my Dad's stuff from World War II. I transcribed it as accurately as I could from the original yellowed memo (I fixed a few spelling errors, but left any wording errors as they were). ...
Gays in military by Leland J Haney...
Overexposure One private asked another: "How did you manage to get arrested by MPs, Mac?"...
The Whole 9 Yards. The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards." ...
Rules of quitting ::: Military jokes and humor daily...
Inappropriate Message? An old one, and said to be true... ...
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town. ...
Civil War Humor The Burning of Columbia SC On February 17, 1865, fire swept the capital city of Columbia, S.C. Southerners have long blamed Union Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman and his army of 'bummers' for the conflagration. Others have traced the origin of the blaze to Confederate cavalry burning cotton and supplies to prevent capture by the Union forces. At long last the real truth has emerged as explained in the following article. ...
Do tell! [On the "don't ask, don't tell" policy of gays in the U.S. military]...

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