Diplomat... A Person Who

always knows what to talk about, but doesn't always talk about what he knows

always tries to settle problems created by other diplomats

can always make himself misunderstood

can bring home the bacon without spilling the beans

can convince his wife not to hide her nice body under a floor-length sable

can convince his wife to show off her new coat in a bus rather than in a
taxi

can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue

can keep his shirt on while getting something off his chest

can look happy when he has unexpected dinner guests

can make his wife believe she will look fat in a mink coat

can make nothing sound like something

can put his best foot forward when he doesn't have a leg to stand on

can put his foot down without stepping on someone's toes

can say the nastiest things in the nicest way

can tell a man he's open-minded when he means he has a hole in his head

can tell you to go to hell so tactfully that you look forward to the trip

comes right out and says what he thinks when he agrees with you

divides his time between running for office and running for cover

has a straightforward way of dodging issues

knows how far to go before he goes too far

lets you do all the talking while he gets what he wants

never tells a woman how nice she looks in a gown. He tells her how nice the
gown looks on her.

puts his cards on the table, but still has some up each sleeve

straddles an issue whenever he isn't dodging one

will approach every question with an open mouth

will lay down your life for his country

will refuse to answer any question on the ground it might eliminate him

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