A military wife is mostly girl - though there are times when her husband is
away and she is mowing the lawn, that she begins to suspect that she also is
a boy. She usually comes in three sizes: petite, plump, and pregnant.
During the early years of her marriage, it is often hard to determine which
size is her normal one. She has babies all over the world; and she measures
her time in terms of places - as other women do in years. "It was at Bliss
that we all had the mumps"; "In Germany, Joe was promoted". At
least one of her babies is born, or one transfer is accomplished when she is
alone - causing her to suspect a secret pact between her husband and the military,
which provides for a man to be overseas or TDY at these times.
A military wife is international; she may be an Iowa farm girl, a French Mademoiselle,
or an ex-army nurse. When discussing their military problems they speak the
same language. She can be a great actress. Watching her children's heartbreak
at transfer time, she gives an academy award performance - "Arizona is
going to be such fun. I hear they have Indian reservations with tarantulas and
rattlesankes," but her heart is breaking with theirs and she wonders if
this military life is worth the sacrifice. One day later, en route to the new
assignment, and filled with a spirit of adventure, she knows it is. That is,
if the baby hasn't come down with a virus, or the twins with the measles.
An ideal military wife has the patience of an angel, the flexibility of putty,
the wisdom of a scholar, and the stamina of a horse. If she dislikes money,
it helps. She loves to gripe (why shouldn't the commissary bag my groceries
like the supermarket?). She lets off steam, then goes back to bagging them again.
She is sentimental, carrying her memories with her in an old footlocker.
She often cries at parades without knowing why.
She is a dreamer - "we'll never move again."
She is an optimist - "The next place will be better."
She is a realist - "Oh well, as long as we're together."
You might say she's a bigamist, sharing her husband with a demanding other entity
called duty. When duty calls, she becomes the #2 wife - and until she accepts
this fact, her life can be miserable. She is many persons. She is the tired
traveler coming down the gangplank with a smile on her lips, love in her eyes,
and a new baby in her arms. She is the General's wife smiling in a reception
line until her cheeks ache; the foreign bride in a strange American world. She
is, above all, a woman who married a soldier who offered her the permanency
of a gypsy, the miseries of loneliness, the frustration of conformity and the
security of love.
Sitting among her packing boxes with children squabbling nearby, she sometimes
is willing to chuck it all - until she hears the firm step and cheerful voice
of the "lug" who gave her all this. And then she is happy to be...
"His Military Wife."