Antigonos, one of Alexander the Great's generals, had a dry sense of humour
At another time, Demetrius [Antigonos' son], after spending several days in a debauch, excused himself for his absence, by saying he had had a violent flux. "So I heard," replied Antigonus; "was it of Thasian wine, or Chian?"
Once he was told his son was ill, and went to see him. At the door he met some
young beauty. Going in, he sat down by the bed and took his pulse. "The
fever," said Demetrius, "has just left me." "Oh yes,"
replied the father, "I met it going out at the door."
--- Plutarch