The purpose of Side Boy Honour Guard aboard military ships In today's military, we have many unique customs. What is not realized is that what is now custom formerly had a real purpose. Take the use of Side Boys to welcome a ranking visitor aboard a military vessel. It is the task of assigning two, four, six, or eight men to line both sides of the gangplank based on the ascending rank of the officer visiting the vessel, with two being assigned for ensigns and Lts, up to eight for admirals and above. More rank, more honour guard, right? But this system originally served a darker purpose.... ...
Rules of wounds A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
If you're bleeding to death, say something witty.
If you're actually dying, say something deep....
A Sign Posted In An Army Recruiter's Office... TO ALL LADIES!...
Training A group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."...
Taking off My father always loved fast cars. Taking advantage of the empty roads one morning, he accelerated down a wide-open stretch. Unfortunately, a young police officer was waiting at the other end, and Dad was flagged down. He greeted the officer with a cheery "Good morning!"
"And a good morning to you, Wing Commander," replied the officer. "Having trouble taking off?" ...
Only in America... Only in America do we have a General in charge of the post office and a Secretary in charge of defense....
Why? I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets....
Dirty Magazines Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine husband called home to tell me he would be late - again. He went on to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in the platoon's quarters and they had to police the area....
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the flood history of the area can be seen on your home's living room walls. ...
Rules of drawing If you're the bad guy, draw & shoot first.
If you're the good guy, draw second and shoot first.
Never turn your back on an armed bad guy, even if he's down. ...
What's In A Name? [A true story.] ...
Civil War Humor The St. Albans Raid <em>In October of 1864, Confederate agents crossed over from Canada into Vermont and raided the small town of St. Albans. This account explores some of the previously unknown facts about that raid. </em>...
Did You Know? Fun Fact. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. ...
WORLD WAR II: THE MYTH OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY We have all heard the stories about World War II. How the Germans invaded Poland. How the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. How the"Allied forces" landed in Normandy. How the US exploded an"atomic bomb."...
1995 Darwin Awards Runner Up ::: Military jokes and humor daily...
How was that? A couple of TAC pilots were flying F-102's in escort with a B-36 bomber and were chinning with the pilot of the bomber to pass the time. Talk fell to the subject of the relative merits of their respective aircraft with the fighter pilots holding that their planes made for more interesting flying because of their manueverability, acceleration and the like. The B-36 pilot replied "Yeh? Well this old girl can do a few tricks you guys can't even touch." Naturally, he was challenged to demonstrate. "Watch," he tells them. After several minutes the bomber pilot returns to the air and says, "There! How was that?" Not having seen anything, the fighter pilots say, "What are you talking about?" Reply, "Well, I went for a little stroll, got a cup of coffee and went downstairs for a chat with the navigator." ...
"Lightning"Reflexes... ::: Military jokes and humor daily...
Four officers classes divide my officers into four classes; the clever, the lazy, the industrious, and the stupid. Each officer possesses at least two of these qualities. Those who are clever and industrious are fitted for the highest staff appointments. Use can be made of those who are stupid and lazy. The man who is clever and lazy however is for the very highest command; he has the temperament and nerves to deal with all situations. But whoever is stupid and industrious is a menace and must be removed immediately!...
Book of Armaments Chapter 2, Verses 9 through 21...
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your Christmas Cards have a copy of your Marine tattooed butt included. ...
Size not important ::: Military jokes and humor daily...
Stealth Bomber at the Rose Parade The Pasadena Tournament of Roses parade was buzzed by a B-2 stealth bomber as part of the salute to the Air Force. Reportedly, nobody noticed....
Fried (eagle) eggs When I was the avionics tech on the Army's Blue Eagles Helicopter display team in 1969 I remember doing a show, (at Stoke on Trent I think), where the civvy programme had entitled us "The Blue Eagles -The ACC display team). Obviously this caused some mirth and prompted one of the pilots to remark, "OK, so we give the a FRY past instead!"

(For the unknowing, AAC = Army Air Corps and ACC = Army Catering Corps)...
Civil War Humor The Beefcake Raid In September of 1864 Confederate General Wade Hampton led one of the most daring and successful cavalry raids of the war deep behind enemy lines. Hampton's raid delivered thousands of beef cattle to Lee's starving army in the trenches around Petersburg. This narrative explores the hidden story behind the "Beefsteak Raid"...
Rules of a Gunfight ::: Military jokes and humor daily...
Guidelines for a Successful Military Career 1.  Admit nothing.

2.  Deny Everything.

3.  Act surprised.

4.  Look concerned.
...
Job for Everyone This guy with no arms enlists in the army.  They have to take him because Title whatever forbids discrimination.  Then along comes the Iraq war and he ends up over there.  He tells them "I can't do anything.  You'll have to give me a discharge."  The sarg says no, "See that blind man over there pumping water?  You go over there and tell him when the pail is full"...
VMI joke How is going to VMI like having unprotected sex? ...

USS Yorktown: Battle Stations!!! ::: Military jokes and humor daily...

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