WAC Driver A WAC was assigned as a driver for the General, one day as they were driving down a back rode the jeep quit running. The driver got out, opened the hood and tried working on the engine. The General was in a hurry so he looked in the glove compartment and found some tools. He yelled out to the WAC, "You want a screw driver?" ...
Student: I don't have a pencil to take this exam. ...
In the mid 60's a US Navy cruiser put in to port in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:...
Typical Officer Problem...
Military Jokes. Military humor...
Military Jokes. Military humor...
The firing sqaud Three soldiers, An American, a German and a Polish in the Persian Gulf war were captured by the Iraqi army and thrown into a prison. ...
Penis Studies...
Military Jokes. Military humor...
ADVANTAGES OF METRIC SYSTEM...
The Enlisted Soldier's Unofficial Guide to Officers Officer Basics
1. Officers operate under the fundamental belief that they RUN things. They are the only ones who actually believe this blatant falsehood, but it is your duty as an enlisted service member to encourage this attitude, as it keeps them from messing around with truly IMPORTANT matters, like the actual mission itself....
The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age - of long duration) sent out an invitation to an officer (who was supposed to be the prospective suitor of her daughter's hand).
"Mr. and Mrs. Dabney request the pleasure of Captain Black's company at dinner on the 16th of September."
She was somewhat dismayed to receive the enthusiastic reply:
"With the exception of four men on leave, and two sick, Captain Black's company accept with much pleasure your invitation to dinner on the 16th of September."...
Suggestions for the ex-submariner that misses "the good old days on the boat"...
Row, row, row your boat ...
Just a Tickle...
During an Arctic Training Exercise During an arctic training exercise in Alaska intense cold played havoc with vehicles and equipment. One harassed battery commander was trying to cope with vehicles that wouldn't run and machinery that wouldn't work. He was wondering what else could go wrong when the door opened and a soldier rushed in to announce, "Hey, captain, the northern lights are out!...
A paratrooper on his first jump was given the following instructions: Jump from the plane and yell "Geronimo!" Count to ten and pull the rip cord....
LEAVING FOR THE ARMY...
Why the Army is Better Than The Airforce - You may be smarter, but we can run away faster.
- We don't have to constantly fight to overcome that niggling feeling that everyone else in the military is making fun of that stationary bike thing... ...
What's the difference between a Faerie Tale and an old Army Story?...
Which sevice is the best? A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman, and a Marine got into an arguement about which service is "The Best." The arguing became so heated they eventually ended up killing each other. Soon, they found themselves at the pearly gates of Heaven. They met St. Peter and decided only he would be the ultimate source of truth and honesty, so they asked him, "St. Peter, which branch of the American Armed Forces is the best?" ...
Rifle Range At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi- annual physical fitness test was still on as planned....
ARMY VS. NAVY...
Comments about the Canadian Military. (Funny and possibly true.) From A Soviet Document: "One of the serious problems in planning against Canadian doctrine is that the Canadians do not read their manuals nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine." ...
Military Wedding Vows Dear family and friends, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and the Department of the Army, to witness this exchange of vows, and see the love that these two dedicated, loving people have for one another....
Private "Sir? If I said you were an idiot, what would you do?"
Officer "I would jail you for insubordination"
Private "Sir? If I thought you were an idiot, what would you do?"
Officer "Well, I couldn't do much about that at all"
Private "Sir? I think you're an idiot"...
The RSM decided to leave the Army after 22 years and goes out and buys a small farm. Upon leaving the Sergeants mess he receives a present of a talking rooster to keep him company on his farm......
After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, ladies, think about this," bellowed the drill instructor. "If you could have ten minutes alone, right now, with anyone in the world, who would it be?" ...

HOME