"Dear Dad," read the young soldier's first letter home. "I cannot tell you where I am, but yesterday I shot a polar bear..."
Several months later came another letter: "Dear Dad, I still cannot tell you where I am, but yesterday I danced with a hula girl..."
Two weeks later came yet another note: "Dear Dad, I still cannot tell you where I am, but yesterday the doctor told me I should have danced with the polar bear and shot the hula girl..."
The slave driver of the Roman galley stared down at his slaves and yelled, "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that you'll be getting double rations tonight."
"The bad news..." bellowed the slave driver over the happy rowers, "is the commander's son wants to water ski."