The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered
an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away,
his full annually benefits PLUS $10,000.00 for every inch measured in a straight
line along the retiring general's body between two points he chose. (Something
Congress came up with!)
The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of
$720,000.00.
The second general asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands
to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.00.
Meantime, the first general had tipped off the third. When he was asked where
to measure, he told the pension man. "From the tip of my penis to the tip
of my balls."
The pension man said that would be fine but he'd better get the Medical Officer
to do the measuring. The Medical Officer attended and asked the general to drop
'em. He did.
The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began
to work back. "My God!" he said, where are your balls?" The general
replied, "In Viet Nam."