Debate military issue I have two sons who are at opposite poles on the military issue. Rick thinks the military exists "only to kill people" and says so at every chance he gets. ...
The Top 15 Signs of Special Treatment in the Military ::: Military jokes and humor daily...
West Point Joke
An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his classes. He ended up creating a program where you could have a conversation with your computer based on your IQ level....
Military Heaven
3 men die and go to heaven. One's a marine, one's a Navy seal, and the last is an army ranger. At the pearly gates, Saint Peter is unsure if he was going to let them in due to their philandering and boorish ways....
A Corporal Reports To The Lieutenant
A corporal reports to the lieutenant:...
Tick - Tock There were three American pilots captured by Germans in WWII. The Germans thought up a way to make the pilots crack and tell what they knew. They made them stand at attention, turn their heads from side to side and say, "Tick - Tock" over and over....
Hut-2-3-4 As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically: "Do you know they are all out of step except you?"...
Keywords: Military jokes, Military humor, redneck, west point, army, marine, captain, uniform, war, navy, combat, murphy's law
Deductions Govt Style
[This story was told to me by the person in the story.] I have a friend who flew Lear Jets for the U.S. Air Force. He would occasionally be assigned to an air show where one of his tasks was answering questions about his plane. ...
Humor In Uniform I WAS WITH A GROUP of Air Force officers touring the battleship New Jersey, and we had to do a great deal of climbing up and down and twisting around inside the ship. As we emerged onto the deck where we had started the tour, one of our group exclaimed, "Now I understand why a captain goes down with his ship. He can't find his way out of it!" ...
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your father taught you to think
a night of fine dining is going to the Snack Bar at Wal-Mart while the automotive
department is raising your truck another 8 inches. ...
The Army Man's Sexy, But Sick, Girlfriend
There were two guys in the Army. They were stationed somewhere in Europe but their exact location cannot be disclosed because of security reasons. One of the guys' names is Rex and the other guy is simply called Skeeter. ...
Captain Jack And The Mistaken Hooker Bust
One day, Captain Jack was driving around in his car on his way to the Army Base where he was stationed. It was a really hot day, since this was somewhere in Texas during the height of Summer. ...
West Point Joke The Annapolis grad walked into the bar, sat down and said, "Hey barkeep, you hear the joke about the four West Point players in a farmhouse?" Chairs scraped behind him, and four of the biggest, meanest guys in the bar stood up. "We played for Army. You sure you wanna tell that joke?" ...
Wing Commander's wife Not sure how it ever got started, but a tradition in the Navy is all of the pilots dance with the Wing Commander's wife. I walked over at a dance once and asked if she'd like to dance and she said, "I don't dance with a child." ...
World War II Pilots An American pilot who had downed a German Messerschmidt, visited the German pilot in the field hospital. Finding the fellow in pretty bad shape, the American asked if he could do anything for him.
The Nazi admitted that he did have a favour to ask. "The leg they amputated, on your next bombing run, could you drop it over Germany?" ...
Parachuting in the Army
In a military training camp some recruits get educated in parachuting. After some weeks of training on the ground they have to do their first jump....
When we were finally allowed to call home... When we were finally allowed to call home, it was a real treat to speak to the family again. I told my Mother that the only thing that really bothered me a lot was the Flight Instructor telling me that I was dumb, ugly and possibly the worst excuse for a pilot he'd ever seen. She said, "Why in Heaven's name would he say things such as that. That's terrible !" I told her, "That's nothing, I'd hate to tell ya what he said about you!" ...
During my first month of real combat flying...
During my first month of real combat flying, I shot down six planes, took out a comm center and a fuel dump. This may have had a lot to do with my being taken out of combat training in San Diego and reassigned to the weather observation squadron in Pensacola....
Humor In Uniform I WAS AN AIR-TRAFFIC CONTROLLER stationed at Selfridge Air National Guard Base in Michigan. One morning we picked up a Montana National Guard passenger aircraft. Instead of identifying the plane by its five-digit tail number, its pilot radioed, "Selfridge Approach, this is Pig Sty One." As we were taught to refer to aircraft by whatever call sign the pilot used, the controller thereafter called the craft "Pig Sty One." Just after touching down, the pilot contacted the tower. "Selfridge," he said, "our call sign is not `Pig Sty One.' It is `Big Sky One,' and we have the governor of Montana on board!" ...
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you complain about the ban on
assault weapons because it would make half your guns illegal. ... Military jokes, Military humor, redneck, west point, army, marine, captain, uniform, war, navy, combat, murphy's law
One day I somehow lost my sidearm...
One day I somehow lost my sidearm, I had no idea how, but they made me pay for it anyway. They said I'd have to pay for anything I lost. At least then I understood the Naval tradition of the the Captain going down with the ship....
When I was in the Navy... When I was in the Navy, women were assigned to the WAVES. When we finally got leave after three months, our Captain told the WAVE Captain she'd better keep her girls under lock and key. The WAVE Captain, tapping her temple, replied. "Don't worry. My girls have it up here !" Our Captain said, "It doesn't matter where they have it. Once those throttle jocks start looking, they'll find it." ...
West Point Joke
How many West Point plebes does it take to change a light bulb?...
Military School The father was fuming & berated his son for being expelled from his alma mater, a prestigious military academy. "They wouldn't have caught me at all." simpered the gay cadet "If I hadn't attempted to switch Majors." ...
Keywords: Military jokes, Military humor, redneck, west point, army, marine, captain, uniform, war, navy, combat, murphy's law
MURPHY'S LAW OF ARMED CONFLICT A famous military historian or general once said:
"The first law of war: Whatever you do, don't invade Russia". ...
WORLD WAR II "[The] equipment... among the most vital to our success in Africa and Europe were the bulldozer, the jeep, the 2 1/2 ton truck, and the C-47 airplane. Curiously enough, none of these is designed for combat." ...
Gays in the Military Last week NPR reported that the group "Operation Rescue" had pretty
much given up on fighting abortion rights, and that they were now
trying to organize against gays in the military. They interviewed
the leader of Operation rescue (this is true, really), who was demonstrating in front of a military base or building of some sort and said:...
Humor In Uniform Before shipping out to Europe with the Army Air Corps during World War II, my father loaned his buddy $20. The two were assigned to different units and lost contact. Months later, my father's plane was shot down. Bleeding from shrapnel wounds, he bailed out and was greeted by German soldiers, who took him as a prisoner. After a long train ride, little food and days of forced marching, he arrived at his assigned stalag. As he entered the compound, he heard a familiar voice. "You cheapskate! You followed me all the way here for a measly $20?" ...
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if... You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if after the divorce you still call
your x-wife "Cuz". ...
Keywords: Military jokes, Military humor, redneck, west point, army, marine, captain, uniform, war, navy, combat, murphy's law