You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you complain about the ban on assault weapons because it would make half your guns illegal.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma used a pig for a garbage disposal.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you still think the vowels are E..I..E..I..O.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you clean your USMC Hummer out with a leaf blower.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if as a boy your tackle box contained dynamite and blasting caps, now just back from Afghanistan, it contains a mix of Russian, German, French, and U.S. grenades.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if after stealing a Marine Corp. Tank and crashing it into City Hall, you have the policeman hold your beer while you get your license.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you gave your youngest son a super-soaker water gun and an NRA application for his birthday.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you stop complaining about your wife's housekeeping after a tornado went through your home and it now looks neater.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your uncle sends you a picture where he just finished shucking the new toilet paper before he used it.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you have an autographed picture of Bob Barker in your wallet.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think "Meals on Wheels" is another name for road kill.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you've been to the emergency room more than 3 times for mashing the wrong end of a thumb tack.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the number of times your momma has seen either Elvis or a UFO exceeds your I.Q.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you reminisce about the time your neighbor spent Halloween night at the bottom of a hole because you moved their outhouse back about four feet.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you get a letter from home and Daddy says, Your brother was arrested for a DUI on a riding lawn mower."
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your grandma keeps her teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if on average, one out of every thirty words you use can be found in a dictionary.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your D.I. carry's a 'Book of Southern Slang Words' around with him just to deal with you.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think Motorola is a fancy name for a car part.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you give your girlfriend long-thorned black roses hoping she won't ask for them again.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you think Hamlet is on the McDonald's breakfast menu.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your kids are going hungry tonight because you had to see your maw run her car at the dirt track race.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your were just a tadpole your Daddy would say, "Ok everyone let's hit the road for dinner," and then grabs a shovel and makes everybody follow him out the door.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you ever called your sister "Mom" and didn't have to correct yourself.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your momma has directions to the bathroom pin to the backdoor that read, "Go past the big oak and hang a left at the woodshed."
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you're in bed with your wife and you call out the name of your coon dog.