Military Rules for the Non-Military Personnel
Dear Civilians,
We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians
up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join,
you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas we would like your assistance
with:
- The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing
of the National Anthem ... kick their ass.
- When you witness firsthand someone burning the American Flag in protest...
kick their ass.
- Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount
of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull
them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they
bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans
made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a Disabled Veteran
kicks their ass.
- (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.
Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU's), telling others that you used to be
"Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have
been okay if you were still seven. Now, it will only make you look stupid
and get your ass kicked.
- Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do
you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance
deserves an ass kicking (children are exempt).
- If you witness someone calling the U.S. Coast Guard non military, inform
them of their mistake...and kick their ass.
- Roseanne Barr's singing of the National Anthem is not a blooper...it was
a disgrace and disrespectful. Laugh, and sooner or later your ass will be
kicked.
- Next time Old Glory (U.S. flag) prances by during a parade, get on your
damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly
thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her...of
course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass kicking.
- What Jane Fonda did during the Vietnam War makes her the enemy. The proper
word to describe her is "traitor." Just mention her nomination for
"Woman of the Year" and get your ass kicked.
- Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are
Americans and we all bleed the same regardless of our party affiliation. Our
Chain of Command, is to include our commander in Chief. The President (for
those who didn't know) is our CIC regardless of political party. We have no
inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all
those representatives" meet. All we know is that when those civilian
representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go
straighten it out. The military member might direct you to Oliver North. (I
can see him kicking your ass already.)
- "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me ... stop
saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and probably kick your
ass!
- Bin Laden and the Taliban are not communists, so stop saying "Let's
go kill those Commie's!!!" And stop asking us where he is!!!! Crystal
balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me ... if you see
anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers; let me know, so I can go
kick their ass.
- Flyboy (Air Force), Jar Head (Marines), Grunt (Army), Squid (Navy) etc,
are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service
member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Could get your ass
kicked.
- Last but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military,
support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday
that you enjoy with family and friends please remember that there are, literally,
thousands of sailors and troops far from home wishing they could be with their
families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day.
Without them, our country would get its ass kicked.
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