It only takes five years to go from rumor to standard operating
procedure.
Landing on the ship during the daytime is like sex, it's either good or
it's great. Landing on the ship at night is like a trip to the dentist,
you may get away with no pain, but you just don't feel comfortable.
Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV. A DC-9 captain trainee
attempting to check out on the 'glass cockpit' A-320.
A checkride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but
still be long enough to cover everything.
Speed is life, altitude is life insurance.
No one has ever collided with the sky.
A "GOOD" landing is one from which you can walk away.
A "GREAT" landing is one after which you can use the airplane again
If you've got time to spare, go by air. (More time yet? Go by jet.)
It only takes two things to fly, airspeed and money.
The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
The difference between a duck and a co-pilot? The duck can fly.
It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to break wind
and head into the ground.
If it doesn't work, rename it. If that doesn't help, the new name isn't
long enough.
Please don't tell Mum I'm a pilot, she thinks I play piano in a
whorehouse.
Will Rogers never met a fighter pilot.
The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the
engine usually quits whining when it gets to the gate. (I met her on
American
Airlines flight from O'Hare to El Paso.)
If it's ugly, it's British; if it's weird, it's French; and if it's ugly
and weird, it's Russian.
New FAA motto: We're not happy, till you're not happy.
A copilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12
o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.
Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
The three most dangerous things in aviation are a doctor in a Bonanza,
two captains in a DC-9, and a flight attendant with a chipped tooth.
I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale.
Pilots are just plane people with a special air about them.
Basic Flying Rules
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognised by the appearance of ground,
buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more
difficult to fly there.
Welcome to a new co-pilot from an old captain: "Son, your wife's legs
have more time in the air than you do."
Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th
unsuccessful landing: "You've got to land here son, this is where the
food is."