A war veteran wound up a long-winded story on his feats of valor.
"I was lost from the patrol 5 miles behind enemy lines. What a SNAFU! I looks to the left and what do I see?"
"What was it?"
"A sniper has me right in his sights."
"What the hell happened?"
"I glances around fast... and there looking down my throat there was a machine gun at the edge of the clearing. Blimey, Joe, I think to myself, it's taps for you."
"Tell us what happened?"
"What do you think happened? I got killed."