Private Klowsson was late from his leave. The sergeant barked: "Why are you late? You've got three watches on your wrists!"
"One is for daylight saving," the man doubletalked. "The other is for standard time and the third is for mountain time. I subtract the first from the third and add the second."
"But how do you tell time?"
"Easy. I ask any man who's got a watch."
"So what?"
"The man I asked didn't have any watch."