1. If you have to take a piss, you can go take a piss. No questions asked.
2. You'll never have to go port and starboard on the fryer.
3. Better pay.
4. The boxes of food at McDonald's aren't stamped "Rejected by Hardee's"
or "Not fit for human consumption".
5. The ability to call in sick.
6. The ability to quit.
7. McDonald's doesn't get their uniforms from the same company as the state
penitentiary.
8. McDonald's doesn't deploy.
9. They have actual janitors.
10. No McDrills.
11. The grill breaks, you CALL someone to fix it.
12. At least your boss accepts that he's a clown.
13. One word: overtime.
14. At McDonald's, you will never, EVER, worry about being put in prison for
ten years because you told your wife what the secret sauce is.
15. They pay you for training.
16. You'll never die a horrible, excruciating death from the crush depth implosion
of a McDonald's.
17. No steam piping.
18. No time at McDonald's will you hear your boss give a thirty minute dissertation
over the P.A. on the importance of being at the register 15 minutes early.
19. They won't ask you about Taco Bell operations on the advancement test.
20. You get to leave work at the end of EVERY day
21. McDonald's will eventually fire the really stupid employees.
22. Two words: Happy Meals.
23. NO WATCHES
24. McDonald's has a slide out back.
25. To do something at McDonald's, you look at the color coded chart, not OP
umpty-squat, chapter whatever, reference 3, ACN B, rev 17.
26. If McDonald's catches fire, you LEAVE.
27. No Fod Walkdown
28. Leaving McDonald's in an emergency doesn't require a EEBD and a lot of praying.
29. The coffee's better.
30. Someone else makes the water.
31. You don't have to live there to work there.
32. Their TV commercials are a lot cooler.
33. Stock in McDonald's is worth something. The Navy is a part of an operation
that is 6 trillion dollars in the hole.
34. Special sauce isn't "hand made".
35. Opening for business doesn't require a full day of preparations and everyone
to show up for a brief at 0230.
36. Personnel inspection requirements are written on the door. (No shirt, no
shoes, no service)
37. At McDonald's, dislocating your shoulder is not considered getting the good
deal.
38. Because you deserve a break today.
39. Even the little Hamburglar is cooler than a goat.
40. Mayor McCheese doesn't wield a righteous thumb of indignation.
41. You can choose which McDonald's you want to work at.
42. If you want to buy your boss a beer, that's okay.
43. If you want to tell your boss to fuck off and just die fucking die, that's
okay too.
44. There is no Uniform Code of McDonald's Justice to deal with.
45. No one will wake at 2 in the morning to start the grill.
46. Chances of you getting called back after you get off work are pretty damn
slim.
47. Putting the pickle on the hamburger doesn't require a QA and a signature
to be used against you in a court of law, should they want you.
48. How many McDonald's were sunk in W.W.II?
49. $2.99 is a meal price, not a daily wage at McDonald's.
50. You don't have to go single register operations if someone spills a Coke.
51. McDonald's doesn't require a 24 hour Shutdown Register Operator and McRoving
Watch.
52. McDonald's doesn't call your house at 5:30 in the morning blaring some god-awful
antiquated song about a bugler just to wake you up.
53. No McRadcon.
54. At McDonald's, your boss will never make you drive him around for two and
a half months so he can spy on Wendy's.
55. You don't have to come in to work at 7:00 only to wait around for an hour
waiting for your boss to tell you things you already know.
56. No McGMT.
57. If you burn a hamburger they won't take away half a month's pay for two
months and restrict you to the playground.
58. Knowledge of the material of construction and variable operating characteristics
of the grill are not prerequisites for operation.
59. You don't have to take apart the shake machine once a quarter just because.
60. You don't have to shave off your goatee
61. At McDonald's, when the toilet clogs, you don't rig pressurized air to the
shitter.
62. You scrub the floors because it's dirty, not because it's Wednesday.
63. There is almost always plenty of parking. If not, drive through.
64. Don't like what you got? Take it back.
65. No 16 hour days at McDonald's prototype making burgers in the middle of
the desert for no one.
66. If you wipe up a catsup spill at McDonald's, you don't have to let it dry
before you throw it away.
67. You don't have to have permission from the Manager, Assistant Manager, and
Register Operator before going into the freezer.
68. You don't have to completely undress to pinch a loaf.
69. ALL of the articles of the Constitution apply to you at McDonald's.
70. It's called "Happy Meal," not "Happy Hour."